Despite the fact that I’m a freshman, I got things going really fast with a girl this semester, and we’re in a happy relationship. I even visited her family over Thanksgiving, and her mom loved me. The problem is this: I’ve got a terrible, terrible exam schedule, which is forcing me take time off from work. Less work means less money. I want to do things with her before we part ways for a month-long Christmas break, and I want to buy her something nice for Christmas, but I barely have any money or time. How do I navigate a thin wallet and a fat schedule?

-Poor in Love

Dear Poor,

Congratulations on achieving worthwhile human contact! Your problem is a pretty common one, and with some creativity it’s easy to fix.

First thing’s first: you may not know this since you’re a freshman, but study days are the shit. It’s like 35 percent study, 30 percent end-of-semester parties and shenanigans, 20 percent comfort/stress eating, 15 percent naps. You can definitely fit some time in there for some romancin’. I am not saying that you ditch all of your papers and exams for fine dining for two at 1789, but you can spend your study breaks walking the canal with your girlfriend rather than wasting time on Buzzfeed and submitting Georgetown Compliments about yourself. Also, see if you can change your remaining work hours to early morning or late afternoon, so you’ll have the rest of the day to do what you please. Bosses are usually flexible schedule-wise during exam season, especially if you conveniently stress-cry in front of them.

As for your thin wallet, remember that not every nice Christmas present is an expensive one. Think really hard about what you’re going to get her, and go the clever, heartfelt route rather than the flashy, expensive one—meaning stay away from M St., unless it’s that awesome new thrift store, Buffalo Exchange. My boyfriend got me an *NSYNC t-shirt there for $4. What’s more heartfelt than that?

Finally, if you want to do some Christmas-y stuff real cheap, I’d suggest looking into D.C.’s many outdoor ice skating rinks. Admission for adults is usually only $7 or $8, which I’m pretty sure is, sadly, cheaper than a meal at Leo’s.

Dear Emlyn,

I’m a rising junior and went through the housing lottery. I had a shitty number, and my friends and I ended up with a dingy Village A. We’re talking a small, one story apartment, basement level, right on Library Walk. It sucks. I would much prefer living in a townhouse, or perhaps a small castle of some kind. Help me get over this.

-Gonna have a Rat Problem

Dear Rat Problem,

You’ve got to remember that getting a townhouse was almost twice as hard this year as it was last year—a lot of houses weren’t available for selection because they’re being given away to faculty or something—so you probably had your expectations too high. We can’t all be lucky like me (pause and take a moment to imagine the beautifully sassy hair toss I just did).

Remember when you were a freshman, wide-eyed and naïve and desperate for a night that didn’t involve Brown House? That freshman would think that a basement Village A is the coolest ever. You get a kitchen! You get to name your apartment something badass like “The Dungeon” or “The Bat Cave!” You are living the dream.

I’ve also noticed that the quality of your housing somewhat depends on your own commitment to that quality. Let me explain: let’s say you get lazy with decorations, or only buy a bunch of Bob Marley posters and tapestries. Maybe you never clean or vacuum. Well then, tough titties, pal. Your apartment is gonna suck. But commit to your Village A cellar and take some initiative to make it great—get some retro movie/band posters, consider a disco ball, clean regularly, play ambient music—and your little abode won’t be all that bad.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask Campus Housing to remove some furniture if you have an exceptionally small space. All Village As come with a certain number of chairs and a couch for the living room, but if you have to cram it all in and end up having no extra space, just get rid of it. You can get pillows or beanbag chairs for people to sit on, which is funkier anyway. It’s all about the ambience you create, not your lottery number.

Send Emlyn your housing selection numbers at ecrenshaw@georgetownvoice.com

The post You’ve Got Issues: All’s fair in love and housing appeared first on The Georgetown Voice.

So there’s this guy. I really like him, and he’s established in multiple ways that he likes me, but he’s failing to take our attracted-friends relationship any further. This weekend, he’s going to be dressing up for Halloween as a really slutty Scarecrow, with some of his friends going as slutty Tin Man and Lion. They also have a Dorothy, which is some other girl–a.k.a. not me. I feel really jealous that he’s not mine, and he’s going to be going around strutting his stuff and I can’t even be a part of their group. What do I do?

—Unsexy Dorothy :(

Dear Unsexy,

Well, you know how the saying goes—if you’re not in his Halloween costume group, he doesn’t love you and you will die alone. I suggest staying in this Halloween weekend, watching The Notebook alone, and crying into your Pillow Pet. After all, what’s the point in celebrating a holiday when you can’t spend it clicking your heels and trying to make “There’s no place like home,” sound really sexy? Who needs candy from trick or treating when you can buy your own pints of Ben and Jerry’s?

On the other hand, no one really says, “If you’re not in his Halloween costume group, he doesn’t love you and you will die alone.” That’s because the saying is fucking stupid. Don’t let this ruin your lovely Halloween season, or even your day—you are over-thinking something that this guy probably hasn’t thought about for more than five seconds. The good news is that going as Dorothy to a Halloween party is way overdone; you’ll probably stand out more to him if your costume is a bit more eccentric—think Cady Herring à la Mean Girls. Just an idea. Ask what parties he’s going to and make an appearance at a few, but overall just have fun with your friends and make it the best Halloween possible.  Wallowing is about the only thing less sexy than a slutty Scarecrow Halloween costume.

Dear Emlyn,

I walked in on my roommate doing the dirty and I got really upset and sort of enraged. I feel bad for doing that—I mean, it is college, and people are going to have fun. Sure, she should have warned me and could have avoided my freak out, but it’s too late and now things are awkward between us. The awkwardness is because I got so mad, not really because of what she did. How do I resolve this issue?

—Roommateus interruptus

Dear Roommateus,

Ah, college—a time of intellectual stimulation and awkward encounters with naked people. I must compliment you because in the wake of your surprise discovery you seem to understand something that a lot of people probably miss in situations like this. People—yes, including your roommate—are going to have sex in college, and yes, probably in your room! Accept this immediately and be ready to confront it, because it’s not going to matter all that much whether you want your roommate to be doing the dirty or not. If she wants to and has a willing partner, things are going to go down. Chances are, she can’t help it—everyone knows the soft lighting and subtle décor of a New South room are some of nature’s strongest aphrodisiacs.

So good for you, Roommateus. Realizing that the problem here lies not in the sex itself but in your roommate’s failure to notify you about what’s going on in the room is a big step, and now that you understand this you can hopefully avoid a major freak out if (God forbid) it happens again.

Talk about what happened ASAP, and don’t worry about it being too awkward. Out of respect for your roommate’s sex life, you shouldn’t have freaked out, but out of decency and respect for you, she shouldn’t have kept you uninformed. You’re both in the wrong in some sense, so the talk won’t be that bad because you both should be apologetic. Set up some sort of communication plan for the next time either of you wants the room, like texting, “Hey, can I have the room for an hour?” or scrawling a secret message on a hanging whiteboard.

The only other thing I can think of is hanging a sock on the doorknob, although I’m not sure how well that would work. People (or washing machines) can steal socks, you know? Even so, some swear by it—my dad says he used the sock method faithfully, making it number one on the list of things I wish I never knew.

The post You’ve got issues: Dear Emlyn, Put a sock in it appeared first on The Georgetown Voice.

I’m a sophomore and it’s housing selection time for me. I live in Southwest Quad with one of my friends from freshman year, but this semester we haven’t been that close and even disagree pretty frequently. I don’t want to live with him next year, but I don’t really know how to break the news. Advice?

-Gloomy Roomie

Dear Roomie,

I think the worst thing you could do would be to say, “I don’t want to live with you, sorry, dude,” because that’s a little too blunt. It stings. You do, after all, have more than a semester left with this guy, so you want to deliver the news in as kind a way as possible so that you don’t wake up covered in honey or shaving cream,  à la The Parent Trap.

Instead, consider your options and get an alternative living situation lined up as quickly as possible. Ideally, choose someone laid-back, busy or involved on campus (so they’re not ALWAYS in the room), and into good music (because do you really want to hear the Fray constantly blasted throughout your Village A next year? Didn’t think so). Anyway, once you have your future roommate(s) all figured out, tell your current roommate the following: “Hey, so I don’t know what your plans are… but (insert name or names here) and I are going to live together next year I think! Just a heads-up. If you’re looking for a roommate still, I’d be happy to ask around for you.” Boo-yah, you’re free as a bird.

You can even use that as a script if you want; I don’t copyright. It’s friendly, it’s helpful, and most importantly, it’s not combative. Just make sure to tell him this as soon as possible so that he has adequate time to figure out his living plans for next year and you’re golden.

Hi Emlyn,

So, I’m a freshman and I’ve fallen in with a pretty crazy friend group (we all like drinking, smoking, hooking up, whatever). I love them and I’m having a blast, but my parents are very conservative and are coming to campus this weekend for Parents’ Weekend. I’m afraid that they are going to find out that I’ve been partying a lot. What do I do?

- Parent Problems

Hi Problems!

First of all, your parents will think that you’re a sad loser with poor social skills if you don’t introduce them to anyone, and you will get depressingly encouraging emails from your mother in the months that follow.  The parentals are here to see what your life is like – and friends are a big part of that—so you can’t get out of letting them meet a few people. Just explain everything in advance to the few friends that you may invite out to dinner. Remind everyone not to curse or talk about how they slut it up on the regular. This is actually pretty easy—Parents’ Weekend is all about Georgetown and how you’re liking it, so conversation-wise your friends can stick to talking about classes and their extracurriculars without much trouble. Parents will eat that up.

Also, don’t forget to clean your room extensively before they arrive—recycle any red solo cups or beer cans, hide your super short skirts in the back of the closet, whatever you gotta do.

Lastly, be wary of the less-acknowledged Georgetown tradition that I like to call “Hide the Hangover Parents Weekend Brunch.” I have lived through it, as have many others. Basically, your parents are going to want to have a “late” brunch on Sunday around 10 a.m. You are going to want to go out on Saturday after you shuffle your family back to the Holiday Inn. That’s fine, but I suggest taking it easy this weekend.

Drink lots of water, maybe call it a night before shotgunning a beer or four—again, do what you gotta do. In the morning, take a shower and two Advil. Walk to meet them at the restaurant so that you’ll wake up and get going a little bit. Order water/juice/coffee and eggs (a non-obvious hangover food). It’s likely that your parents have been hungover before, and without effort on your part, they’ll probably be able to tell how many liters of fun you had the night before.

The post You’ve got issues: Breakfast at Tombs appeared first on The Georgetown Voice.

I have a freshman who is in love with me. Is it ethical for me to make him take my laundry to the dry cleaner’s?

Kisses,

Jackie “Launderin’” DeGioia

Dear DeGioia,

That it’s unethical to hold a gun to anybody’s head and demand that he or she do all of your laundry is pretty much a given. Unfortunately. I’ve tried it, and I felt absolutely terrible about myself afterwards. However, if your freshman is offering such services, I say full speed ahead. Who’s it gonna hurt? In fact, this could be a golden opportunity for you. If he’s hopelessly in love and willing to run your errands, why not keep this freshman around under the pretense of platonic friendship?  Really skirt the line between “being friendly” and “taking advantage of him.”  Let him do your laundry and bring you Sweetgreen and stand in line for your GUGS burger—just make sure to follow up with a polite thank you and something like, “Wow, you’re such a good friend!” to make sure that things don’t go any further. If you really think about it, you’re teaching this freshman not to trust people so easily, which is a valuable lesson! Gosh, you are so nice and thoughtful. He should be grateful!

Dear Emlyn,

As a sophomore back on the Hilltop, I’ve got to start considering my study abroad plans, meaning if and when I’m going to do it. I know which country I want to study abroad in, the only problem is that I love Georgetown so much, and I love my friends even more. Do I study abroad at all? And if so, how do I decide between fall, spring, or maybe summer?

Thanks,

International Love

Dear Love,

I’m having the same issue! As much as I complain about Leo’s and Georgetown’s uneven sidewalks, I really do love the Hilltop and I think it’d be pretty sad to miss out on a semester with my friends. Still, study abroad is a great opportunity and I think you’ll be happy you took the chance to do it, so go ahead and take the plunge. Maybe convince/bribe/force a friend or two to go with you? Also keep in mind that you’ll make new friends when you study abroad, assuming that you’re a generally likeable person who showers regularly. My cousin and his wife met on a UNC study abroad trip to Thailand, so maybe there’s hope for you, too! Maybe.

As for when to go, I’d say either summer or fall. Go in the summer, pay an arm and a leg, and you don’t miss any of the Georgetown action. Or just go in the fall, because everyone knows spring at Georgetown is better anyway. Can you imagine being overseas on Georgetown Day? It pains me to think of such things.

Dear Emlyn,

My roommate and I started out as friends this year. We texted a bit over the summer. I thought he was an okay guy, but once we both got here I’ve been running into problems. He considers me to be his best friend, but I don’t like spending time with him in the least. I find him petty and annoying. What’s worse, he doesn’t like any of the people I’ve grown to be friends with, and takes it as a personal insult if I ever choose to hang out with them over him. So I’d like to just ditch him and hang out with other people, but he would be all alone and hate me for it. What do I do? I shouldn’t be stuck to this kid, should I?

Sincerely,

Detached in Darnall

Dear Detached,

You should never be “stuck” with anyone.  Spending time with people that you don’t want to be spending time with is so pointless—you’re a hot commodity, honey, so don’t waste your time. I know it sucks to feel like you’re letting your roommate down, but you have absolutely no obligation to be close friends with him (unless you guys have a really strange roommate contract). Think of it from his perspective. It must suck just as much to have a best friend that only hangs out with you because he feels forced to. Start to gradually give him more and more space: spend time out of the room, meet up with other friends even if your roommate gets upset at first, get involved in other things on campus, etc.  That will give him a chance to make some legitimate friends, and at the same time you’ll get sweet, sweet freedom.

The post You’ve got issues: ‘I’ve just got a lot of feelings.’ appeared first on The Georgetown Voice.

I am under 21 and don’t have a fake ID. I tend to like the older ladies here at Georgetown, and sometimes I snag a gorgeous junior or senior and take her out to coffee. Here’s the issue– when it’s time to step it up from a coffee date and take her for a nice dinner, I sort of hit a wall. I can’t buy her wine at a restaurant, can’t take her out to a bar or a club, etc. It sucks. Help please!

—Young Luv

Dear Young,

So distressing, to be caught in the middle of childhood and adulthood. Listen to Britney Spears’ “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman,”—you are not alone! Cheer yourself up by thinking about everything an older girl might like about dating a guy under 21.

Not being able to buy alcohol is really one of the only downsides to your youth—otherwise, you’re probably more flexible and spritely, you’re probably less stressed about life after college, and you’re probably not going to go senile any time soon. Darn it, you’re just a bundle of fun. Just like Britney.

I’d say you should just be upfront about your dilemma, and any reasonable girl will understand. Still take her out to a nice dinner, of course (you don’t want to get stuck at the coffee date level), but maybe you can pregame in your room or have a drink afterwards.

Now that I think of it, isn’t a nice glass of wine in your Village B more private and romantic than trying to order some fancy-sounding crap at a mediocre Italian restaurant? I think so. As for clubs and bars, I guess you’ll just be confined to parties until your blessed 21st—which really isn’t all that bad. If your girl is still snotty and won’t accept that you can’t be all adult-y, she’s probably not a keeper anyway.

Dear Emlyn,

I’m tired of Leo’s already (big surprise), which does not bode well for the rest of my semester. I can’t keep buying food off campus, though. I’m going broke already! How can I handle eating at Leo’s for the rest of the semester—nay, the rest of the year—when the thought of it already makes me depressed?

—Forlorn Foodie

Dear Foodie,

Join the club of pretty much everyone who has a meal plan. The thing about Leo’s is that, obviously, creativity and effort make all the difference. I could piece together a gorgeous panini masterpiece or craft a salad that looks like it should be in Gourmet, but I’m lazy. So lazy. Life is hard. Allow me, then, to suggest some quick tips that won’t require you to put forth too much effort and yet provide you, at least sometimes, with an acceptable meal.

First, it’s all about the additions. Don’t just get pizza, add Parmesan on top to give it some actual flavor. Don’t just make a waffle, add Oreo bits from the ice cream toppings bar, or sprinkle in some brown sugar and cinnamon. Don’t just get plain pasta, add feta from the salad bar and maybe some peas, or whatever else floats your boat. Seriously, you can maybe save your meal if you throw some stuff on top or mix some stuff in. All we can do is try.

Also, I have a theory that the chefs care the most about the vegan station because they won that award about being super vegan or whatever. I used to overlook it, but I’m starting to pay it serious attention—sometimes there is beyond-decent food! Imagine that! Soups are generally okay as well, but people tend to forget about them!

When in doubt, have whatever Stacy is making. She is a goddess.

The post You’ve Got Issues: Love’s labours and Leo’s appeared first on The Georgetown Voice.

I’m a totally awesome freshman, and was expecting that I would be invited to all sorts of raging parties, right? Here’s the thing though– I don’t really know many people, and have yet to be invited to anything besides an ice cream social or two. It sucks. Am I doomed to wandering around Village A in a pack with 30 of my fellow freshmen?

-Friendless Frosh

Dear Frosh,

NO. No no no no no. Please, no. Avoid the freshman roam if at all possible, because it will make people hate you and it also will make you hate yourself. No offense. But there is hope. Go to SAC fair and sign up for a few things, but be judicious; I signed up for way too many things, including the step team—sort of jokingly, sort of not. Either way, it was a bad idea. Anyway, pick two or three activities that you can see yourself being a part of and commit to them.

That will form your social scene. Clubs are great because you’ll meet people who share your interests. Otherwise, the beginning of your first year can turn into hanging out with people who you don’t have much in common with besides the “awkward freshman” label.  Also, don’t freak out about not throwing down every night or not having new best friends after a week (or even after the first semester). These things take time, and you’ll be fine.

Dear Emlyn,

So my high school boyfriend and I decided to try the whole long distance thing as I start my career at Georgetown and he’s at Kenyon. Any tips on how to handle a long-distance romance while I’m trying to get involved in Georgetown’s social scene and meet new people?

-Sleepless in New South

Dear Sleepless,

I’m sure you know that lots of people are dead-set against long distance relationships, especially right as you’re starting college. It’s definitely hard, but if it’s worth it then that’s that. And who are any of us to say that it’s not worth it? Maybe he looks like Adam Brody and is an heir to the Godiva Chocolatier Company.

I’d suggest comparing schedules and finding a few times a week that you can Skype each other (actually, I prefer Google+ hangouts for all of my video chatting needs. It’s much better, even though “Skype” is the common verb nowadays). Sing him Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles” during said Skype dates. Plan some visits, too, but give it a month or so in order for you to both get settled. If this relationship stops you from going out and having fun, then that’s your warning sign. Who says you can’t meet tons of new people and party a bit even if you’re taken? Don’t do anything stupid, and don’t keep it a secret that you have a boyfriend. Just don’t be sketchy, capiche?

Dear Emlyn,

At the beginning of every semester, I end up dropping a horrible amount of money on books, food, dorm supplies, and the like. I try to be careful with money, but there’s just so many things I need to stock up on while classes start. After move-in last year, my credit card was declined when I tried to buy an $11 Megabus ticket. How sad is that? Help me save some money as this school year gears up.

-Cash Flow Woes

Dear Cash Flow,

Right? The start of each semester is really exciting, but also terrible because the “new beginnings” vibe floating around campus can really tempt you into buying stupid things like a $40 shower rack or a pencil sharpener that looks like a high-heeled shoe. I saw both of these items at Target yesterday – stay away from them. You know what else I saw? A two-pack of Brita filters is more than $30. So so dumb. I say who cares. Tap water is fine, and chances are that someone else in your building/apartment has a Brita in your common fridge that you can use. Nobody needs to know—that’s my motto. Steal lots of food from Leos, eat Hot Pockets as meals, et cetera. Nobody needs to know.

As far as books go, see if you can borrow or share some. If you’re planning on buying them, take the time to research if there’s anywhere online where you can get the books for cheaper than they are at the bookstore. In fact, stay away from the bookstore in general… you can easily buy school supplies elsewhere, because do you really want to pay $20 extra to have all of your notebooks emblazoned with the Georgetown seal? No thank you.

Tell your life story to Emlyn at ecrenshaw@georgetownvoice.com

The post You’ve got Issues: At least you’re not in Darnall appeared first on The Georgetown Voice.

Swaggy Swate,
I live to fix your problems, so thank goodness you wrote in. Let’s see what I can do.
While I’m sure your girlfriend would love to watch all of them, time is indeed of the essence. Nothing I can do about that one (besides suggesting that you skip copious amounts of class to watch movies, which is always okay no matter how much time is left in the semester). You have a couple of options for deciding what to watch: you can live life on your own terms and be all like, “we’re watching what I want to watch!” Perhaps it’s a little selfish, but that way you don’t have to worry about your girlfriend and her feelings and stupid stuff like that. You can also use a method that I developed to determine my dog’s favorite toys. Pick up the stack of films, wave them in her face, and then throw them all in different directions. Whichever one she runs after first is the one she wants to watch most. Other than that, maybe just ask her directly, even though you find that weird for some reason. Deal with it.
And sorry about Breaking Bad, I’m waiting ‘til the fall as well. We can get through the meth withdrawal together.
Dear Emlyn,
This summer, I will be traveling abroad to teach English in a foreign country. I would name the location, but it would give away my identity! (And we certainly don’t want that.) I was added on the Facebook group for the student teachers a couple of weeks ago, and this one fine gentleman caught my eye. I mean, it definitely wasn’t love at first sight; it’s a Facebook profile photo, for Pete’s sake. But there was something, almost providence, that guided me to him. He is a photographer, like me, and his photos are out of this world. Yes, I did stalk his profile. I guess what I am getting at, is it weird that I have developed some sort of interest in this guy? It’s definitely not true love, but there is something, maybe an inkling of hope inside of me, that when we meet, there will be that spark. In the meantime, however, here I am, sitting, wishing, and waiting, on the dock of the bay, wasting time.
—#GirlsJustWantToHaveFun

Dear #GirlsJustWantToHaveFun,
Before I begin, your summer sounds a heck of a lot more impressive than mine. Not that it’s difficult to be a more impressive person than I am, but still. Mad props, and Godspeed.
Ahhh, the ever-confusing Facebook crush. It’s a modern phenomenon that happens to the best of us. So, don’t worry at all about the stalking—what else is Facebook even for? Farmville? I have to say that I don’t think your situation is that weird; you have a common interest in photography, you’re going to have the shared experience of teaching English abroad, and presumably his profile picture was all kinds of hot (otherwise your stalking would have been short-lived, duh). So no worries on that one; it’s totally okay that you’re looking forward to meeting this kid.
That said, don’t get your heart set on your fantasy Facebook fellow. Remember that people make their own virtual profiles and basically depict themselves in the way that they’d like to be seen, so who knows what kind of personality quirks this guy may have that he manages to hide on Facebook. Six sons and daughters by the time he reached the ninth grade, inability to form coherent sentences, no knowledge of the Legally Blonde films…you could be dealing with some scary stuff. Just take everything you read with a grain of salt and see where things go once you meet him in the flesh.

Send your wildest inquiries to ecrenshaw@georgetownvoice.com

The post You’ve got issues: Take it with a grain of salt appeared first on The Georgetown Voice.