The Sports Sermon

By the

March 15, 2001

So the tournament is finally here, and all the “college basketball experts” are coming out of the woodwork. You sit in New South and hear two cats discussing their brackets:

“No, man, you gotta pick Iowa State! They are legit!”

“Yea, yea. But you know what? Kent State has upset potential!”

Give us a break. The last time you watched Kent State play on television was never, so don’t pretend you know what the hell you’re talking about.

Not to sound angry or anything. But people need to swallow their egos at this time of year and realize that everyone has a valid opinion when it comes to March Madness Mayhem Misanthropy.

But for all of you who are in your friend’s pool and have no idea who Tarvis Williams is or why Kevin Frey sucks, The Serm is here to give you some advice:

Don’t pick Dook out of the East. All they do is shoot, and they don’t have Boozer. Instead look for Kentucky or UCLA, both of whom have been off the hook as of late. Possible upsets? How about a streaky Ohio State falling to Utah State, or Mizzou smacking down UGA.

Down South, the Wahoos will run and gun their way through the Elite Eight, taking Michigan State down en route. But UNC will recover from that whole ACC tournament thing and make it to the Final Four. Temple’s a sleeper: Kevin Lyde weighs 467 pounds.

The Midwest is probably the toughest bracket, but we here at the Sports Sermon like Kansas, only because of the Roy Williams-UNC matchup it will cause in Minneapolis. We hate to dis Illinois, who are damn good, but Kansas has too many options on both sides of the court. Also, like Duke, Wake will die shooting threes. And Loren Woods just isn’t that good. Cinderella watch: Xavier, who dominated the A-10 this year.

Then there’s Boise. A weak bracket out West will let Georgetown slide into the quarterfinals, where they will meet a Cincinnati team that has finally gelled. This poses major problems for the editor of this section. So, to avoid conflict with his allegiances, the Hoyas and Bearcats will unite into ?BER-TEAM, a force to vanquish all foes. They will cut down the nets and take over the world.

Huggins and Esherick in 2004! Hurrah!

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