A word about hype.
Shane Battier is not going to be president. He is not the most amazing young man to come out of college since Bill Bradley. Others would have you think so.
“He’s a religion major! How smart. What an amazing young man!,” they say. He actually majored in something other than business or sociology, so he must be the second coming or something. Religion is not Theology, there’s a difference. Religion is easier, especially at Dork University, where grades are more inflated than Derrick Coleman.
Just because Battier is a great ball player and?gasp!?a good student doesn’t mean that he is America’s golden boy. It’s sad that college sports have degenerated so much that this chump student is supposed to be the next leader of the free world. Besides that, there’s no way this guy will be a star in the NBA. He’s too slow to be a guard-forward type and too small for power forward. See Shane. See Shane suck. Good Shane.
Then there’s Jason Giambi, who’s even more hyped than Kate Hudson. Actually, the A’s as a whole are supposed to be the successor to the Yanks, according to a bunch of magazines. But we’ll say this: no team with a pitcher named Barry Zito will ever win a World Series. And we’re tempted to say that Giambi, who had 43 homers and 137 RBIs last year, falls into the same category as Ini Kamoze and Sir Mix-a-lot, that is,”one hit wonders.” At least they’ll beat the Rangers.
Here’s a few people that will never be hyped: the Final Four’s referee team. Remember when Jason Williams jumped on Jason Garnder’s back in the second half? It would have been foul number four on Williams. Then he should have fouled out twice more on push-offs. No calls. Or how about Battier fouling Garnder with the body on a supposed block (Billy Packer: “An amazing block by Battier!” Ugh.), then having Dunleavy knock down another trey in transition to put the Dookies up nine? Did Lonny Baxter get away with the same stuff? Does anyone but Duke? They probably would have beaten Maryland, but the Serm wonders about Arizona’s chances if J-Will wasn’t around to hit that three …
One more thing. On Kornheiser’s radio show yesterday, it was questioned whether or not a Tiger Woods’ victory in the Master’s would be considered a Grand Slam. Our answer: if he’s got all four trophies on his mantle at once, he’s done it. And even if it’s not considered a Grand Slam, chances are he’ll sweep the rest of the majors this year.
Could Shane Battier do the same? Didn’t think so.
