Dear Sermon, won’t MJ returning to the league ruin his legacy forever?
Hells naw! Michael Wilbon put it best: Do you remember the Muhammed Ali who got whooped by Trevor Berbick, or do you remember him floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee? The same goes for Jordan. Even if Vince jumps over him a few times or Iverson breaks him down every time down the court, he’ll still be a fine player with a perfect jumper. And we’ll never forget how great he once was. Don’t think he’s going into the Hall of Fame as a Wizard or anything …
But he’s too old! Why would he ever return? He’s gonna suck like a Hoover!
Look fella, he’s not gonna drop 31 a game like the old days of … three years ago. But he’s there to help his team. And when Chris Whitney is running the point, you know your team needs some help. Give him a break. He’s trying to make good on his investment, like we all would. If you bought a car, would you let the engine stall every time you drove, or would you do your best to fix it? Hence Jordan’s decision.
OK, who’s AL MVP?
Never met him.
No, you tool, American League!
Oh. Well, it’s either Ichiro, Clemens, Brett Boone or Jason Giambi. Clemens is a pitcher, so he’s out. Giambi’s too greasy. That leaves us with Ichiro and Boone, who both happen to be on the Mariners. Boone almost has 140 RBIs, but that stat would be lower without Ichiro getting on base in the first place. By batting about .350 with 230 hits, Ichiro makes Boone better. The fact that he’s a Japanese Jesus should count for something, too. So, it’s him.
Why did the Skins cut Jeff George?
What? Do I really need to answer this? It’s because he sucks, he throws interceptions, he’s a poor leader, he’s slow and he’s whiny. He’s like Rob Johnson, but older. Is there anything good here?
Does Sean McGrane really like the Browns? Is he for real?
Unfortunately, yes. Yes, he does.
I hate Barry Bonds, so you should too.
What the? Is this Rick Reilly?
Er, no. Go Yankees! I hate swimsuit models! I don’t replace text with graphics and pass it off as a column!
I knew it! Avaunt, ye devil Reilly! Bonds is America’s savior. All hail!
