The good folks at MBNA Career Center brought us “Career Fair 2001” in the Leavey Center on Wednesday. The Serm realized, while sitting in Sellinger, that we have no idea where we want to go with our life but will probably end up covering the Blue Jackets for the Columbus Post-Dispatch. (“Radim Bicanek shoots! He scores!”) In honor of the Career Fair, The Serm presents a haiku:
“In an ideal world,
I want to be a lawyer.
Damn, I have no pants.”
Don’t get us wrong. We would all love to be the head of NBC sports, who wakes up in the morning at his 18-room apartment, does some StairMaster, says goodbye to his sleeping girlfriend, who happens to be Willow Bay, and then goes and makes $16 million for televising the XFL. But you know, things like that don’t happen at Career Fair. You get a bunch of cards, none of which lead to anything. It’s like an interview with Marge Schott.
Speaking of Marge Schott, we’re now going to talk about something completely unrelated: The Chicago Bears. This team is absolutely disgusting, racking a 4-1 record powered by a pair of Michigan 2000 alums, David Terrell and Anthony “A-Train” Thomas. Thomas put up 188 yards on the ground this past weekend, and Terrell hauled in 91 yards through the air, prompting a notable Sun-Times columnist to headline his column, “Don’t f*ck this up, Jauron” in reference to head man Dick J. The Bears’ QB, for those of you less informed fans, is Jim Miller, and that’s not the guy who ran the Red Gun offense for Jerry Glanville back in early 1990s Atlanta.
Why doesn’t Jerry Glanville have a job right now? Or Whitey Herzog? Or Orlando Woolridge? Well, because they all suck. Or have criminal records.
And a final thought for the week: When Ty Detmer won the Heisman, his teammates threw him in a pool. We think that’s the farthest that he’s moved forward with the help of other football players since 1991.
