Life-defining events take many forms. One of them can be a bunch of kids from Pennsylvania dressed like Waldo (yea, from Where’s Waldo?) running around a stage in the gym of Rutgers University exhorting others to “Shake Your Booty, Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty.”
OK, well maybe it wasn’t life-defining, but it was CAACURH. For those of you not in the know, which is probably 99 to 100 percent of you on this particular issue, CAACURH is a clever acronym for “Central Atlantic Association of College and University Residence Halls.”
It’s a giant regional conference, held annually at a different site, to discuss how to bring together students in residence halls. There’s a fair share of spirit too, as students from Maryland walk around with turtles on their head, and kids from Kent State dress up as what can only be described as a bad Big Bird impersonation.
In this surreal paradise of student leadership on the campus of perchance the most depressing state university I have ever been to, I learned quite a bit?and not just about bonding students within the residence halls, but about the very nature of sports fans.
It all began with the van ride to New Jersey, when one of the fellow Hoyas on the trip happened to be from New Mexico. Discussions followed, about “The Pit,” Jimmy Valvano, Kenny Thomas, Lamont Long, Clayton Shields and the general tenets and conditions of WAC Basketball. I had made a new friend, and I had done it simply by being able to say “Yea, man, Long was sick in that game against UTEP junior year!” This friendship continued into the Rutgers Student Center on Friday night, as a group of people from a smattering of Central Atlantic schools sat around a large TV to watch Arizona vs. Maryland in the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic. Behind us, Karaoke Night loomed large. As girls from Albright belted out “Like a Prayer,” I focused, intent, on the game at hand. On the crawl on the bottom of ESPN’s screen, Kenny Thomas was found to have 24 points for the Rockets that evening. I turned and give a whopping high-five to my comrade next to me. Ah. The Lobos.
To my right were a group of Maryland students, who may have been perhaps the least sports-oriented people I have ever had the occasion to watch a game with. One of them kept referring to the same game from last season, clearly the only one he attended. I think I heard the story of him losing his ID and almost not getting in about 347 times during the second half alone. He called himself “Scuba Steve.” This troubled me right off the bat. Every time Juan Dixon would miss a shot, Scuba would remark:
“Goddamn Dixon! Always missing shots!”
I never did say, but was tempted to:
“Actually, dood, he’s a preseason All-American.”
Scuba’s other classic comment of the night, especially for those who follow the Hoyas, was:
“Lonny Baxter, he’s so ineffective in the post!”
Yo, Scube. He mauled us in Anaheim.
Thankfully, the Terps dropped this one, probably due to their horrible would-be fans, sitting 200 miles away, in a random student center. Serves ‘em right.
On Saturday, during the lunch bracket of the conference, two comrades and I, among them the LoboLover, took a stroll down to the football stadium to check out the tailgating scene for Rutgers vs. Pittsburgh. Tailgating at college football games is something dear to my heart, because all my efforts to actually do it at schools where it’s respected have fallen flat on their face over the past year.
Rutgers was an interesting scene. The first parking lot after the academic buildings was entirely Pitt fans, screaming about Panthers, frying hibachis and drinking Beck’s off of poker tables. It was a Saturday in America, and it was good.
Once I got closer to the stadium itself, though, the scene was radically different. It was a collection of 40-somethings, all clad in fleece pullovers, hollering the same indomitable refrain:
“I got Scarlet Fever! Let’s Go Knights!”
The only time I saw a student was when the guy clad in armor rode by me on his horse. It was a pathetic display. I saw no school spirit, just alumni binge drinking. I was appalled. I promptly returned to the conference.
Rutgers lost 42-0. It serves them right.
