City of Brotherly Love, my ass! This past weekend, the NBA All-Star game had the misfortune of being hosted in Philadelphia, a city that finds itself 200 years past its prime. Its only current claim to fame is that it sits astride I-95 on the way between New York and Washington. Now, you may be wondering what could possibly prompt such a verbal attack on a whole city, so let me just lay it on the line right from the start?Philly fans are the worst sports fans in the whole country. Period.
Before we get to the fans themselves, it has to be mentioned that the All-Star weekend itself was a contrived, corporate spectacle that could have been cooked up by Enron’s Board of Trustees. When the best thing about All-Star Saturday is that we get seven hours of Charles Barkley with a microphone, something is fundamentally wrong with the makeup of this great and historic event. The Rookies vs. Sophomores game was not bad, however, with some of the league’s brightest young stars on display. Also, with Hubie Brown analytically breaking down each player’s potential upside, it was as informative as it was entertaining. But after the game, it was all downhill from there. The next event was three-on-three nightmare that featured teams comprised of current NBA players, past legends such as Moses Malone and Magic Johnson, a player from the WNBA and various celebrities. I have to admit that I was originally excited at the thought of Moses and Magic back on the court, but those thoughts were quickly dispelled when they trotted out Justin Timberlake to take part in the festivities.
The three-point Shootout was as solid and pure as always, and eventually we reached the Slam Dunk contest, where the true colors of the Philadelphia fans came out. This year, the suits in the NBA offices thought it would be a good idea to install a “Wheel of Dunk,” whereby competitors had to draw a dunk from past years’ events and copy it in the current competition. Charles Barkley made this point vividly in the telecast, when he said that some players just are not physically able to perform certain dunks. (masteringruneterra.com) This does not mean that these players are not great dunkers, they’re just different. And so we reach the Philly fans, who took the fact that Sacramento Kings rookie Gerald Wallace did not perfectly copy one of Dr. J’s dunks as a personal slight against themselves, their immediate families and the whole city of Philadelphia! They booed Wallace for, basically, trying to copy one of the best dunkers in the history of the game. Later, they booed Houston Rockets guard Steve Francis for not attempting the “statue of liberty” 360-degree jam, even though it was obvious it would be impossible for him to do it.
But the coup de gr?ce of the weekend, and of the depths to which Philly sports fans can sink, was vividly put on display on Sunday during the All-Star game itself. It wasn’t a bad game, sloppy and exciting all at the same time, with one simply amazing play by Tracy McGrady. Philly native Kobe Bryant came out playing hard and wanting to compete; he went on to win the MVP award for the game. Of course that was not before Philly fans made their own special contribution to the proceedings: They booed Kobe when he shot the ball, they booed him every time he touched the ball, and finally, when he came to lift the MVP trophy, the boos cascaded down on this native son of Philadelphia. Kobe picked up the award and addressed the unruly crowd in a typically classy fashion, but it was evident that his feelings were hurt.
Kobe Bryant was just the latest in a series of tactless Philly sports acts. Philly fans cheered when Hall of Fame receiver Michael Irvin suffered a career-ending injury. They booed current Philly “God” Donovan McNabb on draft day when they thought Ricky Williams should have been picked up by the Eagles. They booed probably the best third baseman in history, Mike Schmidt, who also just happened to be playing for the Phillies. And they booed Santa Claus. I think Allen Iverson got the metaphor wrong in the post-All-Star game press conference. He said, “Not everything in Philadelphia is going to be peaches and cream.” I prefer to equate Philly with school on Sunday ? simply no class.
