There are 45 seconds left on the clock and the Philadelphia Eagles are up 52-14 on the New York Giants. The G-men have the ball at their 20-yard line. The offense steps onto the field against the Eagles third-string defense. Why am I so intrigued? Why do I refuse to change the channel to a more competitive game? Because I have Jeremy Shockey, the Giants tight end, on my fantasy football team and he needs only 10 more yards to put him over 100 yards receiving for the day: 100-plus yards means big points for my fantasy football team. It’s a sad way of life, but a true one for myself, and many other fantasy football addicts.
The fantasy football season begins with a “draft,” which takes place over the summer. Typically, a group of close friends will get together one Saturday afternoon with a couple hundred wings, some nachos and a keg. The purpose of the day is to select players for each individual’s fantasy football team. Based on each NFL player’s performance every week, his owner receives points. Naturally, some players are more valuable than others?say, Marshall Faulk over Kerry Collins. Although I believe Kerry Collins used to be a valuable fantasy football quarterback when on the wagon.
The later rounds of the draft are where it really gets fun. While you’re sitting there calmly praying that nobody steals your sleeper pick, your buddy who’s had a few too many beers announces he’s drafting Barry Sanders. Then there’s your friend who has always loved one player in the NFL, and you’ve never been able to explain why. When he goes ahead and drafts Vinny Testaverde in the sixth round, you’re happy because your chances of winning the league improve. And of course there’s the homer of the group, the guy who drafts Quincy Carter ahead of Brett Favre, solely based on the fact that he loves his Cowboys.
Each week you and your team take on another owner’s team in your league. Leagues usually consist of eight, 10 or 12 members.
If you’re a trash talker, fantasy football is definitely for you. Each week you get to talk smack to a different person in your league, and when your team outperforms theirs, you have an entire week to gloat about it. And just like the NFL, in any given week anything can happen in fantasy football. Your friend could have Kurt Warner, Ahman Green and Terrell Owens, three bonafide fantasy football studs, while you only have Jay Fiedler, Tiki Barber and Johnnie Morton. But that day JFieds throws for 300 yards and three TDs, Tiki runs wild for 150 and a TD and JMoney goes off for 225 yards and two TDs. And then you picture your friend, who had been talking insane amounts of trash all week, sitting in front of his television with a blank stare across his face: a perfect time to pick up the cell phone and give him a call.
Starting Sept. 8, Sunday afternoons are all fantasy football addicts look forward to. We go through our entire week waiting for opening kickoffs around the country at 1:15 p.m. So begins 10 straight hours of football watching. From opening kickoff till the final whistle of the 8:00 p.m. ESPN Sunday night football game, we fantasy football addicts are in paradise. We leave our couches only to use the bathroom or check football scores on the computer. With the invention of wireless Internet, we addicts are only one obstacle away from not having to leave our couches at all. There’s also the Monday Night and occasional Thursday night game, a gift from the fantasy football gods to us for being such loyal subjects. I urge any of you sports fans who have yet to try fantasy football to give it a shot. There are free leagues to join on yahoo.com, sandbox.com and many other sites. The NFL Season is so close I can taste it; I’m as giddy as Anna Nicole Smith at an all-you-can-eat-buffett. My name is Paul McCarthy, and I am a fantasy football addict.
