Some call it beer pong; others refer to it as “beirizzy in the hizzy.” You can call it whatever you want, as long as you acknowledge that Beirut is the best game, ever. we ex-high school jocks can’t get enough of it. If we go one night without the feeling of that ping-pong ball on our fingertips, we get the jitters. To some it’s just a game, but to the true fans, it defines competition.
A true Beirut fan is one who expresses emotion in the game, one who can’t stand to lose. The true fan takes time to perfect the psyche out, whether it’s talking some trash or smacking some ass. Do you remember those games when you were up huge, got too comfortable and before you knew it were off the table? Have you ever forced your girlfriend to flash some skin in an effort to win the game? Do you carry ping-pong balls around in your pocket at night, just in case? If so, you’re a true fan of the game, and I respect you. If not, you’re weak sauce, and you’ve got some work to do. Ten cups a side, two rinse cups, two ping-pong balls. Let’s dance.
The history of beer pong, the predecessor of Beirut, dates back to the mid ‘50s, in the basements of fraternity houses. It’s important to understand that “beer pong” refers to shooting at cups with ping-pong paddles, while Beirut is the game you see played today. I’ve gotten into the argument many times. What can I say? Some people are just flat out ignorant. Beirut is the best game ever; don’t disrespect it by calling it by its wrong name. And you shouldn’t disrespect it by playing with stupid rules either. Here are my suggested rules for Beirut. Feel free to add a few to your house rules>
1. Fireball Rule?You make two shots in a row, your team gets to shoot again.
2. Rerack?Re-form the cups on six, four, three, two and one.
3. F U Cup ? Each team fills an 11th cup full of beer, and places it on the corner of the table. It has no bearing on who wins or loses, but if you hit it, it gives you the opportunity to stick it to your opponent.
4. No Blowing?Unless you’re a girl and don’t mind showing off your skills.
5. Bounce Shot?Gotta have the bounce shot: fun to shoot, but even more fun to swat across the room. Adds a great dimension to the game. Successful bounce shot = two cups.
6. Meathead Rule?Though Beirut is a gentlemen’s drinking game, some players prefer to make the game super aggressive by fighting for loose balls in-between tosses. Under this rule, once a ball has hit a cup or the table, any team may try to capture the ball for their next throw.
7. Spilling Beer?At no time is it acceptable to “consume” your beer by purposely spilling it on the floor. Such infractions may cause forfeiture of the game and possible banishment from the Beirut community.
8. Too Drunk Rule?If a player knocks over any of his/her own cups, or drops a ball in his/her own cup, it’s their own damn fault and they have to take it off the table.
9. Airball Rule?You drink when you miss everything. Only necessary in a Tournament where speed is a factor.
10. Same Cup Rule?If at any time both shots land in the same cup, game over. No bitching.
11. Rebuttal?Once you have nailed all the cups, the other team gets to shoot till they miss.
12. Trash Talking?As much and as vulgar as possible. Just don’t pull a Dwayne Rudd and start throwing things before the game is over.
If you don’t recognize Beirut as the “shiznittobam snip snap,” hopefully one day you will be so enlightened. It is a game of no salary caps, no $17 million signing bonuses, but instead a plethora of skilled players. Maybe one day we’ll meet on opposite sides of the table. As our eyes meet before we do battle, all I’ll be wondering is, who’s next?
