Is figure skating a sport? No. How about croquet? Yes. Boxing? Questionable. Beirut/Beer Pong? Definitely.
So goes one of the oldest questions floating throughout the world of athletics: what is a sport?
Upon first thought, it doesn’t seem to be a very pressing question. But tell any figure skater that he’s technically not a true athlete, and you better have a pretty solid explanation. You don’t want to get into a fight with a figure skater, just ask Nancy Kerrigan.
Define “sport” as “competition,” and debate and drama become sports. That’s a problem.
Define “sport” as an activity in which there are winners and losers, and recreational downhill skiing wouldn’t fit-but chess would. Hmm … .
To claim the status of a sport, a competition must meet two criteria: First, it must be physically challenging in some way. Sorry, high school debaters, you weren’t the solid athlete you thought you were.
The second, and more controversial, criterion, is that there must be an objective way to measure who has won. This is where figure skating falls short. A panel of judges is not objective. If politics are involved, let’s call it what it is: a competitive campaign.
But what about refs in football? Does their subjectivity disqualify football from reaching sport status? No, because unlike skating judges, they do not decide who the winner is.
Boxing is the most difficult to classify. If one guy ends up passed out in a pool of his own spittle, there’s an obvious winner. But if, at the end of all 12 rounds, no one’s down for the count, judges get to pick the winner. “Oh, he defiantly looked better in the ring tonight.” What is this, a fashion show?
Some people take this debate way too seriously. Check out the guys at www.sportnonsport.com, for example. They’ve come up with a complicated point system and sport characteristic chart. (And hey, it’s your lucky day, you can buy their book, Sport, Non-Sport, for only $12.50!)
Under their very scientific grading system, handball, jousting and karate makes the cut, while golf, crew and marathons don’t. Marathon runners not athletes? Crew? Their system sounds flawed. I wouldn’t buy the book.
While sportnonsport.com doesn’t mention whether beirut/beer pong is a sport, under my definition it is, and I’m okay with that. Is there a more competitive atmosphere on this campus than that Tuesday night beirut clash? Everyone has one, two or 10 friends who take the game way too seriously.
And I bet a lot of you sports fans are, too. Next time your parents ask what you’re doing this weekend, just tell them, “I gotta practice for the big game.”
