In the past, when the Super Bowl half-time show was more talked about than the actual game, you could be sure of a blowout.
In 2001, the Baltimore Ravens’ defense pummeled the New York Giants en route to a 34-7 spanking. I don’t have a clue who performed at half-time that year, but a Martha Stewart show would have received more attention than the game itself. And rightfully so.
This year should have been different. Playing in the least publicized Super Bowl in recent memory, the Carolina Panthers and New England Patriots shot down critics to have the greatest championship game in league history. Billed as a clash between two top defenses, the game ended with both quarterbacks passing for three TDs and 300 yards, and another game-winning field goal courtesy of Adam Vinatieri’s right foot. Yet, on Monday morning Janet Jackson’s silicon-filled right breast took the spotlight. And on Tuesday. And on Wednesday.
On any other occasion, Janet’s bare bosom probably deserves attention. But not in this case. Everyone from the media to the FCC to Justin Timberlake needs to calm down. FCC Chief Michael Powell later said, “I am outraged at what I saw during the halftime show of the Super Bowl. … my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration … (which)was tainted by a classless, crass and deplorable stunt.”
Newsflash Mike: the game wasn’t on Nick At Night. Sex and sports go hand in hand today, from half-naked cheerleaders to commercials for super erection pills. At 37 years old, Janet Jackson needed publicity to spark her career-so she gave us a big boob. And it worked … for now. Was it in poor taste? Definitely. But I doubt Little Johnny and Annie would have focused on the peep show had it not been plastered across headlines.
The shame of the whole fiasco is that we should still be talking about the game. It had no real loser-time simply ran out on the Panthers. As I watched the final drive, fingers covered in Cluck U’s special sauce, I was praying for overtime. Not because I was rooting for the Panthers (the thought of a Boston parade does makes me cringe) but because the game was that good. It was the coming out party for Jake “who the hell is he” Delhomme and solidified Tom Brady as one of the game’s most clutch passers. The latter became the youngest signal-caller to win two Super Bowls. At 26, Brady now has two Super Bowl MVPs. Not too shabby.
For a game to be one of the best ever it needs to be entertaining from start to finish-this game was the exception. In the final stanza, the offense kept coming until Vinatieri’s kick sent the Panthers home to ponder the “what ifs.” The teams scored 37 points in one quarter, a Super Bowl record and the game’s over-under.
After digesting the whole experience, and 20-plus buffalo wings, I hope everyone learns a few things. First, to astonished parents: if you don’t want your kids to be scarred by sexual behavior, toss your TV in the trash because sex and prime time TV are synonymous. Second, to the NFL: What else did you expect from MTV? The channel where Real World has turned into Who Did I Sleep With Last Night, MTV doesn’t scream restraint. Lastly, to Janet: It’s time to take your fake boobs and freak brother into hibernation forever. I’m also guilty of giving you more attention than you deserved-but in the hope that the game could steal back the spotlight.
