Last week, mankind made a giant leap forward-again. A team of engineers and pilots in New Mexico successfully launched a vessel out of Earth’s atmosphere twice in one week, to win the X Prize, a $10 million award for the first privately funded space venture. Today, we at the Voice are proud to announce our own attempt to break the surly bonds of earth and nudge the face of God. Yes, we are going into space.
One of the brilliant space heroes behind the SpaceShipOne project called NASA the United States’ attempt to prove to Russia that we could do Communism better than they could. We couldn’t agree more. The Voice has long held a strictly, even violently, anti-NASA stance. (Commie bastards!) Now we can carry on our tradition of capitalist entrepreneurship, but only with your help.
The driving force behind any private enterprise is its investors. You, yes you, can become one by sending $5 to the Voice office, Leavey 413. Your contribution will earn you a place on the VoiceShipOne’s Board of Directors and the chance to be among the first Georgetown students to be hurled skyward in a burst of gleaming steel. As well, if the students of Georgetown can prime the pump, the Voice will be in the position to attract prominent space investors like Paul Allen or Lance Bass.
But what makes VoiceShipOne different from the other consortiums attempting to achieve the independent space flight necessary to create private space tourism? Two words: Fuel Cells. Our campus has been ground zero for fuel-cell research that has culminated in the most efficient transportation known to man: The GUTS bus. Ultra-modern craft like the Ballard X-1 Bus are powered by the hydrogen cells, gathering their power from the very atmosphere surrounding them. Imagine the benefits of bringing this technology into space!
We expect that the science and engineering-oriented Voice staff can, by throwing money at the “space problem,” create a working prototype within two to three weeks and, after further testing, a publicly usable space vessel with a low passenger fare. This would enable Hoyas trapped on campus during the weekends to travel as far as Dupont Circle or even Adams Morgan after orbital re-entry.
We have big dreams: We will go where man has repeatedly gone before, and we will go there so wealthy people can waste egregious amounts of money to follow us there. Perhaps within the decade, even the millionaires among us may realize their yearning to rise even higher above the common people.
