It’s as inevitable as spring turning to summer. The end of every school year coincides with the end of the NBA’s regular season. And as students bask in the D.C. sun on Healy Lawn waiting for that final bell, talk of the NBA’s Most Valuable Player award heats up with the weather.
The debate has been dissected and regurgitated in every way imaginable by bloggers, analysts and players alike. But as classes come to a close, what better way to discuss one of the tightest NBA MVP races ever than using the favorite TV show of the college-kid generation as a model? So, without further adieu, here are the best players in professional basketball and their male Saved By the Bell counterparts.
Steve Nash/Screech Powers: Besides the fact that it would be easy to picture a teenage Nash as a physical replica of Screech, there are other similarities. Nash is one of the headiest point guards in the league, possessing an on-court intelligence rivaling any knowledge of computer robotics retained by the goofball geek portrayed by Dustin Diamond. He’s taken control of a team missing a superstar and made everyone around him better with his play just like Screech had the uncanny ability to make anyone around him funny. Whether it’s forward Shawn Marion or spoiled Lisa Turtle, both pipsqueaks can make good co-workers great.
Lebron James/A.C. Slater: Both are pure physical specimens and the most athletically gifted of their respective forums. Whether it’s a breakaway dunk from Lebron or a skillful pin of some poor Valley wrestler by Slater, they both have the ability to leave an audience in awe. However, Lebron has yet to demonstrate an ability to win the Big Time game and pull through in the clutch, which bares an eerie resemblance to Slater’s inability to land Bayside’s Big Time babe, Kelly Kapowski. There’s still a lot of time for Lebron to get the girl, so to speak, but he’s not the league’s MVP just yet.
Shaquille O’Neal/Mr. Belding: Both have aged, are bald, and the last time we saw them both they were undoubtedly past their primes. Shaq is not far removed from being the player who single handedly shifted the power from the Western Conference to the East as the best conference in basketball. And he is still, by all accounts, the most dominant center in the league. The only problem with such a statement is that it is just as effective as saying Mr. Belding is the most dominant principle at Bayside High. They are both the best by default.
Kobe Bryant/Zach Morris: Both may be womanizers to a certain extent, and while Kobe is the only one in the league who could score 81 in a game, Zach Morris is the only high schooler who could get away with dating 81 girls in one semester. Both carried their peers to produce a quality product. Never before in the history of basketball has one player, a guard no less, strapped a team on his back and carried them to the playoffs like Kobe. You can’t imagine the Lakers without him, just like Zach is the first character to come to mind when reminiscing Bayside’s history of hilarity. Zach could carry a scene with any obscure character chosen for an episode, whether it’s Slater’s little sister or Tori the biker chick. He made it work with anyone. Kobe is this year’s MVP because he’s taken a storied franchise back into the playoffs for a title run with teammates who are the basketball equivalent of the ditsy Valley High cheerleaders.
