The Duchess of Windsor nearly hit the nail on the head when she said, “a woman can’t be too rich or too thin.” Nor, apparently, can she be too muscular. It was surely beyond old Wally’s wildest gold-digging, man-eating imagination to think that a lady would ever seek to cultivate impressive bicep bulges beneath the fluttering sleeves of her newest atelier-made frock. But Janice Dickinson, that interminable pioneer of all things artificial, spoke out last week on behalf of the ladies who lunch … and juice.
The former supermodel and creator of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency (upon which the compelling and aptly named television drama of complex human emotion, The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, is based), told Greg Gutfeld of Fox News (Red Eye), that her former fiancée Sylvester Stallone “juiced me” with steroids and testosterone.
Dickinson’s admission was the first in a string of alarming steroid stories that have been flying around in recent days.
Dickinson, though a pioneer in many areasshy;—see her shameless self-promotion during her tenure with America’s Next Top Model—is certainly not the first high-profile woman to admit to steroid use. Just this past October, U.S. media darling from the 2000 summer Olympic games Marion Jones, whose chiseled abs sent millions of women into a self-confidence spiral, admitted that she took anabolic steroids. Last week, Jones was sentenced to six months in jail.
While disheartening and disillusioning, Jones’ behavior is not really a surprising aberration in the world of sports. The highly publicized Mitchell Report, released on December 13, 2007 by former Senator George Mitchell, laid bare the apparently pervasive use of steroids in Major League Baseball. Though baseball commissioner Bud Selig and the U.S. Congress itself have promised to take action, it is an undeniable fact that a great deal of our national pasttime’s innocence has been lost.
Even more astounding than Jones’ sentencing or Congress’ self-righteous preaching or even Dickinson’s Botox-bolstered ranting is the number of rap and hip-hop phenoms that have been named as part of a steroid investigation. Among those who have been implicated in the investigation are Timbaland, 50 Cent, Wyclef Jean and Mary J. Blige.
Author and industry expert Jeff Chang said in an interview with The New York Times that the allegations were really not all that surprising, given that “there’s always the battle aesthetic at work, this idea that you’re going to go up there and show that you’re badder than everybody else. It’s part of the swagger that hip-hop carries.”
To be honest, I can see the appeal of steroid use on the part of the male stars named. I don’t condone it, but the male standard of attractiveness in the entertainment industry is out-of-control buff-ness. Kudos to ectomorphs like Adam Brody who are out there trying to break down stereotypes, but have you seen 50 Cent’s torso lately? All he needs is a loincloth and gruesome facial hair and he could fit right in on the set of 300.
But Mary J.? What the heck? ‘Roids?
Perhaps I’m unfairly holding women up to a different standard, but aren’t there enough raw food diets out there to keep the fairer sex feeling sufficiently inadequate about their bodies? Will the newest Cosmo health trend be a little needle injection before you hop on the elliptical?
Steroids are, as the latest round of accusations proves, an indelible part of our national culture. First it was the wrestlers, then the ballplayers, then the runners, then the models and the music moguls.
What’s next? Sarkozy injecting HGH to get a couple inches on his lanky lover? Romney ‘roid rage? And is it just me, or does Hillary look a little Amazonian these days? Apparently these days a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. So much for staying above the fray. (lesroches.edu)
