When Georgetown kicks off its Big East Tournament run and takes the floor at Madison Square Garden this afternoon, there will be one nagging, unspoken thought in the minds of Hoya fans everywhere: If only Octavius Spann’s mohawk were still around to laud during televised timeouts…
Sigh. It is a shame that “Tay” (who left after the 2006-07 season) is no longer on the Hilltop to share his retro hair-stylings or baffle us by wearing Aviator sunglasses in a pitch-black McDonough Gymnasium during Midnight Madness. But wrap your head around this: in an era when Hoya Paranoia is as strong as ever, he’s not the only former Hoya to have skipped town. In the last two years the Hoyas have racked up consecutive Big East Regular Season Championships, one Big East Tournament Championship, two runs to the Sweet Sixteen and one Final Four appearance. Our coach is being compared to Jesus Christ by a popular t-shirt design.
For Spann, guard Josh Thornton (who left in the fall of 2006) and forward Marc Egerson (who left in the middle of the 2006-2007 season), the choice has been made, and they’ve moved on. As any Hoya fan would, I wish them all the best in their new situations and appreciate what they did on the court and behind the scenes to help us fans enjoy these last three seasons. But how are they feeling now, knowing they’ve left what is recognized as the resurrection of a college basketball dynasty?
I have no idea, but here’s my best guess.
Octavius Spann: “Yeah, I love what those guys are doing up there, doing all that winning. I’ve actually had time to watch them a lot. I’m in the middle of red shirting for a year at Marshall University. Go Herd baby! I saw that Matthew McConaughey movie last year—it was on, like, hundreds of times on HBO on campus—and thought, ‘Hey, if the basketball coach at Marshall is anything like this guy, he’ll love my energy and my hair.’ Well, turns out our coach is cool and all, but he doesn’t bring nearly as many hot chicks to campus as I’m sure McConaughey did while he was here. Anyway, I’ve come to terms with my legacy at Georgetown as having the second-best sounding name ever. Sure, I sound like a Roman Emperor or a Super Villain, and I wish I was No. 1. But Ruben Boumtje Boumtje is not to be messed with.”
Josh Thornton: “I’m not quite sure what it is—this ‘Hoya Paranoia’—but I’m at Towson now, so I’m close enough to Georgetown that I can feel it. Actually, I think it’s what’s keeping me from sleeping at night. It’s weird. Anyway, it hasn’t mattered much. When I came to Georgetown, I was known for knocking down open threes in my sleep. Seriously. So on this swiss-cheese Colonial Athletic Association defense, I’ve been catching all kinds of z’s behind the arc and it’s worked out fine. Two birds with one stone, ya know? I’m shooting 43 percent from back there and I’m the highest scorer on my team. Hopefully the boys back in D.C. won’t miss that sharp shooting this weekend. Oh yeah, and when he hits another big three, tell Roy it was my pleasure to be giving him those shooting lessons every practice. If he works his way back into the NBA lottery for his shooting ability, I want a cut.”
Marc Egerson: “Many sound-minded folks, tucked away in the comfortable Northwest corner of the District, are erroneous in thinking I might have left Georgetown for academic reasons. I’d appreciate a chance to respond to such a preposterous postulation. I’ve become a father and have relocated to Delaware in order to be closer to my family. I’m laboring away for the team here, attending an upstanding public university and toiling for every loose ball during almost every minute of every game … I think maybe my neck tattoo might have rubbed people the wrong way. To make up for it, please beat ‘Nova. I’m tired of those guys boasting about Philly being the biggest city in Delaware.”
