Spring is slowly making its way north to Georgetown, which means the reemergence of a classic stress-reliever: lawn sports. As lacrosse stumbles down the stretch and the basketball team disintegrates, Hoyas of all ages gather on the lawn to enjoy the, ahem, clement spring weather. In the event that the weather does turn around and we actually get springtime temperatures before the end of the year, I offer you a short guide to what you might encounter on the lawn between White Gravenor and the concrete fortress that passes for a library.
Cornhole players: Shirtless, but somehow still sporting a two-toned tee-shirt burn, the four out-of-shape Midwesterners playing cornhole are among the laziest men on campus. Note the backwards cap and plaid shorts or jeans rolled up to just below the knee. Listen to the jokes they make when one player lands his “corn” in the “hole.” Stop to say hello and receive a can of warm Busch light and the most uncomfortably long hug ever.
Playing/having a catch: These are the future “World’s Best Dads.” They grew up in the quiet suburbs of Long Island or northern New Jersey, and their sincere everyman appeal is apparent with each emphatic thwack of the ball against the glove. “Watch my curve!” “In high school, right field was a skill position.” No, it wasn’t. Laugh to yourself as you watch the kid having a catch hunt for the ball in the bushes along Copley.
Frisbee: I’m sorry, but I don’t know who thought it would be fun to throw a plastic plate around for hours. Probably the same guy who invented the earth shoe. I love to watch Frisbee-ers make acrobatic leaps in order to catch a throw that’s four feet off the ground, land, fake out two imaginary defenders, and pass the disk with a dramatic flick of the wrist. These people make one of the most relaxing activities in the world look extremely difficult. Imagine Phil Mickelson putting the same flair into a two-footer.
Football: Hut one, hut two, time out, there are people in the way. Unless you’re committed to a Lendale White-style short offense, there’s just not enough room on the lawn to play football. There’s a space for football—it’s called a football field—and we happen to have one right in the middle of campus. Go ahead, get some use out of it. Lord knows the varsity teams aren’t.
For proper cornhole technique, give Jeff a shout-out at jgb39@georgetown.edu
