The Sports Sermon: Sorry Mom, baseball is on

My life as I know it is officially over.

Recently, after haggling, begging, and cajoling, I finally convinced my sainted mother to buy me MLBtv. Little did she know, my educational downfall would begin as soon as I clicked the “submit payment” button on the Web site.

MLBtv is not just another marketing gimmick from a professional sports league; instead, it is a relatively inexpensive $109.95 package that allows consumers like me to view every Major League Baseball game from my laptop. Considering that four front-row tickets to one game at the new Yankee stadium will make your wallet more than $10,000 lighter, MLBtv is a steal.

Since the first pitch of the Phillies-Braves game that opened up the 2009 season on ESPN on April 5, I have been glued to my computer. I have literally done no schoolwork in the past two weeks.

Yes, I had a 1:15 Managerial Accounting class on Monday, April 6. But the New York Mets and the Cincinnati Reds game’s first pitch was at 1:05—and who am I to skip a start by baseball’s supreme southpaw, Johan Santana? Not to mention that the Mets are my favorite team.

Tuesdays? They’re wasted now. I get out of class at 10:15 a.m., giving me a good two to three games to watch during the middle of the day. Socializing was so first semester.

Heck, you’d be lucky to see me in Leo’s. I’d rather live on microwavable hot dogs and the cold ballpark sodas that line my fridge. (I bought a year’s supply before Opening Day.) They’re essential to the viewing experience.

I first realized I might be addicted to MLBtv during Easter Break. I stayed on campus for the short respite from classes with the intention of getting ahead on my schoolwork. Good one, Tom. My man-crush Zack Grienke of the Kansas City Royals pitched on Wednesday night, Chris Carpenter of the St. Louis Cardinals threw a near no-no on Thursday, and Evan Longoria of the Tampa Bay Rays launched two moon-shot homeruns on Friday.

When my parents came into town on Saturday and dragged me to the Newseum, I was going through baseball withdrawal. I would do anything—or at least almost anything—to watch a game. The day was filled by serious talks with my parents, all while I would rather be listening to Vin Scully paint a beautiful picture of the Los Angeles Dodgers-Arizona Diamondbacks game.

After a full day without baseball, Easter came along and I quickly rushed my parents out the door. They were originally scheduled for an 8:00 p.m. train back to the homeland, New Jersey. With my terrible-yet-undeniable ability to annoy the living daylights out of them, I got them to pack up and leave by 3:00 p.m. in the afternoon. Mom, I love you, but Josh Beckett was pitching for the Red Sox later that day, and I really wanted to watch the game. I hope you understand.