The beginning of the year can be a tough time for new roommates. After a week or so of partying and letting loose, dorm relationships settle into a routine of arguing over music selections and when to turn out the lights. Often there’s only one way to reignite the spark that was so apparent over CHARMS. I’m talking, of course, about hall sports.
Yes, your Resident Advisor warned you on the first day of orientation that the halls of your residence were not meant for athletic activities, and that if you were caught playing sports in the hall, you would be punished. Well, he was wrong. Hall sports are not only a great way to make friends but an arena in which to prove that you are in fact the bro you claim to be. But which hall sports are cool and which are as fun as a Sig Ep mixer? By way of clarification, I’d like to offer Bakk’s Guide to Hall Sports:
Mini-basketball: When I showed up at Darnall 215 freshman year, my new roommate had already hung up a basketball hoop with his name printed on it. My first thought was “Wow, I’m going to have a really tough time liking this person,” when in fact I should have realized that my year was made. There are literally a thousand different games to be played with a mini basketball and hoop. If you drink, play HORSE with the caveat that the loser has to take a shot of Burnett’s or shotgun a Natty Light every time he misses a shot. If you don’t drink, put a trashcan under the hoop and throw away the next four years.
Knee-hockey: You may not be used to spending much time on your knees, but this is college—time to experiment. To play knee hockey you will need mini hockey sticks or broken broom pieces, a lacrosse ball, something to set up as a net, a teammate, an opposing team, and a death wish. Seriously, this is the most dangerous sport ever invented. Your knees will suffer the worst rug burns of your life and every inch of your lower body will be bruised from missed slap shots. But this is a small price to pay for the lifelong friendships that follow.
Nerf football: You aren’t going to impress anyone by demonstrating your ability to air it out the length of the fifth floor hallway, but Nerf football is a great way to get out into the dorm and meet some of your new neighbors. Play one-handed and don’t spill the solo cups for extra bro points.
Wrestling: If all else fails, strip down, oil up and wrassle. Nothing says “I’m tighter with my roommate than you are with yours,” like taking down your roommate and holding his face to the carpet until he cries uncle. Yeah, we’re all jealous of the two of you.
And remember, if all else fails, pocket pool is always a crowd pleaser.
Play with Jeff in his dorm at firstname.lastname@example.org