“There are stories hidden inside each and every one of us.”
Yaya Chang (COL ‘13) opens her book, Hidden Behind Innocence, with these words. At first glance, the diminutive yet confident freshman appears to be just another college student. Her book is a harrowing account of a two-year sexual relationship with her 26-year-old martial arts teacher. She was 13 at the start of the affair and he was alluring; in her own words, “a man.” The book delves into the details of the actual relationship, but it is also a look into the mind of a young girl as she struggles to understand what is real and what is false.
“It sort of came as a gradual thing. I write in my diary a lot … I realized I could do something with it, and help people,” Chang said. “My parents were supportive of it, [though] it was difficult.”
Her parents were horrified when they found out about the abuse.
“They had no reason to believe a 26-year-old man would victimize their daughter at such a young age … they were in complete shock,” Chang said.
“From the beginning,” Chang said, “I knew it was wrong. But I didn’t understand it … it wouldn’t click. I had known him since I was eight … he even showed me the Texas state penal code [stating that sex with a person under 17 is against the law], but it still didn’t click. Not even after the trial did I understand how bad it was.”
A desire to be normal and an awareness of her lover’s manipulation finally brought an end to the relationship. For Chang, it was time to let go and grow, even though it was immensely painful to do so. Nonetheless, and perhaps because of her experience, Chang gracefully transformed into her own mature person.
“If I didn’t go through that [experience], I wouldn’t have been able to see through people’s façades,” Chang said. “Everyone has some pain … I developed a deep sense of care for people … it’s about having a sympathy for people but realizing that there are consequences as well.”
As for her future, it’s a work in progress. Though her major is currently undeclared, Chang has big plans, with the intent of attending law school.
“I’m settling in, learning to adjust,” Chang said. “I’m slowly but surely getting my classes down, maybe [I’ll] join a few clubs. We’ll see.”
