Holidays are a stressful time; there are drunken relatives, nagging relatives, and generally just a lot of relatives. Inevitably they corral the younger generation to talk about their lives and their daily routines. More often than not, they complain about how stressful work is or how there’s something missing. Very rarely does one hear, “I’m perfectly content with where I am right now.”
This isn’t confined to distant relatives; it applies to siblings and parents as well. My sister is applying to colleges, and the anxiety associated with the process is taking its toll. Having gone through it all three years ago, I feel her pain. At the same time, I have to ask myself—what is it all for? We do well in junior high to get into a good high school, to get into a good college, to get a good job, to get what exactly? To be successful? On whose terms?
There seems to be a constant momentum to keep going, but very rarely a focus on what is at the end of the journey. Relatives never ask “Are you happy right now?” Instead they ask about what classes you’re taking, how they apply to your life goals, and what exactly your life goals are. Most things in life have become a means to an end. Even things such as education have become a stop on the great trajectory. I know too many people who don’t value their education, who take classes because they’re “easy” without stopping to realize all of the knowledge that they have access to. Students all over the country, and especially at Georgetown, mindlessly intern for companies they don’t believe in and in fields they have no intention of joining because “it looks good on a resume.”
While the continual resume-builder may be quite prevalent on campus, there also seems to be a counterculture emerging, spearheaded by our generation. We’ve been dubbed the “Me Generation,” or the kinder “Generation Y,” and have become the subjects of a number of articles. We’re cited as unconventional and not adhering to the norms of the workplace. According to some, Generation Y has no company loyalty, is unwilling to put in the hours at the cost of having a life, and disdains the rigid 9-to-5 working hours to which our parents were enslaved. Our generation looks for more out of our jobs; we want to feel fulfilled, inspired, and impactful. It seems rather strange that wanting more out of life than endless hours at the office so that we can make partner and “be successful” is somehow going against the grain.
Pushing the envelope against current corporate structures also pushes against what it means to be successful. Millennials (another kind nickname) are more likely than any other generation to measure success not based on what we own, but rather on the feeling of waking up in the morning and knowing that a difference is being made because of the work we’re doing. That some members of the older generation see this as a negative trend demonstrates exactly how material our understanding of success is. It’s unbelievably archaic, but still quite common, that the white picket fence, the roast on the table, and the new car in the driveway are still such huge parts of the American dream.
Clearly there are instances in which the white-picket-fence version of success is appropriate, particularly when it implies a rise out of poverty. But financial security is not something to be settled on. In times of economic difficulty, it’s difficult to measure success by the contents of your bank account. Not having a certain amount of money in no way means that you aren’t successful, and a society that bases success on capital gains is one that will ultimately end up dissatisfied. There is no long-term satisfaction to be found in material goods, as there’s always something new to want. As Buddha said, “Desire is unquenchable.”
There’s a story of a child answering the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” with “happy,” and his teacher telling him that he didn’t understand the question. Instead of teaching our children that what defines success is based upon our possessions, such as job titles and property values, we should teach them that success is self–defined. Someone else may not agree with my idea of success, and that is perfectly acceptable. The need for social validation should be eliminated, and in its stead there should be a focus on feeling fulfilled and inspired.
We may be called the “Me Generation,” but we’re doing something right when it comes to defining our goals and structuring our lives. Our society would generally be much happier than it is now (at 105th happiest country in the world) if we reoriented what it means to be successful.
