For those familiar with the cinematics of Lizzy McAlpine’s viral song “ceilings,” the drama of “doomsday,” or even the richness of “All Falls Down,” her new single will sound rather sparse at first. The first second of “Pushing It Down and Praying” is spent in splintered silence, the faint rustle of raw ambience unaccompanied by music. Through this barely audible crackling echoes the initial strum of McAlpine’s guitar. Quiet but unwavering, it carries an air of turbulence over just two chords, ringing out as the strings are struck in tandem draggingly.
It’s easy to imagine her in the studio with her arms wrapped around her instrument, breathing quietly with her headphones on. It’s a still, humane, unassuming moment of instrumentation before her softspoken voice joins in, singing with stark clarity and steadiness for all to hear: “I’m in bed / laying down / naked / He’s inside of me,” she starts.
What follows is three and a half minutes of admitting guilt—or rather, lack thereof. “I wanna feel guilty / I wanna feel that it’s wrong,” McAlpine sighs, confessing her willing continuation of a relationship while secretly wanting someone else. But she doesn’t back away from recognizing her faults. “You know just how to get me to me,” she divulges, before adding, “I know just how to get what I need.” Feeling guilty for not feeling guilty—it’s the illusion of acquiescence. The pit-in-your-stomach feeling established by the song’s initial lyric remains a constant throughout, no less devastating in the final chord as it was upon the first listen.
Sonically, what starts out as just McAlpine and her acoustic guitar stretches and thickens into a grainy, grungy track where the drums kick in during the second verse, and the electric guitar is more than strident. Each note wails with bitterness, stacking on top of a dense bass sound, allowing McAlpine’s increasingly confident voice to climax in a moment of confusion and desperation at the onset of the chorus. Cymbals crash, vocals clash, and the guitar crescendos in an array of ascending notes. What’s really magical is that musically speaking, the song isn’t particularly dissonant—well, no more dissonant than the average McAlpine song. But the strategic use of electric and acoustic elements, the layered arrangement of instruments, and the heavy, defined mix create the illusion of harmonic miscellany. As the song progresses, each individual sound “clicks” and finds its right place, making the song the satisfying slow burn that it is. The music, lyrics, and McAlpine spiral around one another in a hurricane of sound and emotion.
Since her debut release Indigo in 2018, the musician has perfected singing with a vulnerability that is unembellished to the point of being disguised. Her honesty is inconspicuous; it lies in wait until it’s ready to strike, strong and swift. Now wielding that skill six years later, the 25-year-old singer-songwriter doesn’t feel the need to hold back on her latest single.
It’s often more publically agreeable to use metaphors and roundabout language to discuss taboo topics like sex. However, in “Pushing It Down and Praying,” McAlpine refuses to shy away from saying what she needs to say; in fact, it seems like an act of liberation to do so. She’s bold and self-assured as she sings, “I love him / kiss his mouth / sayin’ / ‘Oh yeah, baby / touch and touch and touch and touch me.’” Her mastery of saying things as they are keeps her music real and painstakingly relatable, and has secured her a spot on the forefront of indie-pop musicians of her generation.
Her brutally honest lyricism is about more than saying things to just say them. This technique makes her a compelling storyteller, someone who is able to spin shattering narratives out of seemingly ordinary things. As she trudges through the muddied sounds of her band to harness this vulnerability, she begins to morph from a sensitive teenager to a surer version of herself—a fitting accompaniment to the release of her latest album, Older (2024).
Older, which came out earlier this year, was a turning point for McAlpine. “This album is different because it took so long to make and it truly was a labor of love,” she told Variety in April. “I’m just putting my entire soul out for people to witness and I feel like before, I dressed it up with different things and production elements and this time it’s just there. It’s scary.” “Pushing It Down and Praying” is a testament to that sentiment—there’s not much more baring one’s soul to do once you’ve teased “I’m in bed / laying down / naked / He’s inside of me,” on TikTok for your 800,000 followers to see. In taking this leap of faith, however, McAlpine has only solidified that she’s growing as an artist and writer, continuing to better her craft while she’s at it.
Her triumph with this single bodes well for her deluxe album, Older (and Wiser), which released Oct. 4. With four new bonus tracks included, it’s clear McAlpine isn’t finished showcasing her skill just yet.
