These five Hoya hoopsters are a triple threat. They’ve got mad ball-handling skills, they’re really tall and they’re ridiculously good-looking, even for Georgetown. The following is, in no particular order, the starting five of hotness for our 2006-07 basketball team.
JTIII— What top five list would be complete without our resident silver fox, the man behind the magic, the indomitable John Thompson III? Along with George Clooney and Denzel, JTIII proves that like a fine wine, some things only get better with time. Maybe it’s the power he wields striding up and down the sideline, tan suit swishing, that attracts us to him. Maybe it’s the wise and easy-going air he exudes, or perhaps it’s that irresistible Tom Selleck-esque moustache that gets us going. Whatever it may be, Thompson looks better than ever this season, svelte and smiling as he heads into the first match up. Who says nice boys finish last?
Jonathan Wallace— Impish good looks and a mega-watt smile aren’t the only things that set Wallace apart from the crowd; our boy’s wicked smaht, too. He hits three-pointers when he’s on the court, books when he’s off-duty and looks good doing both. It’s hard to miss the chiseled perfection of his biceps as he directs plays while moving gracefully down the floor, or to pull yourself away from the beauty of his puppy-dog eyes as he concentrates on a free-throw. He may be the shortest guy on the team, but he more than makes up for it with his dazzling looks. After all, good things come in small packages.
Tyler Crawford— Note the strong jaw-line, the broad shoulders, the perfectly defined abs and you may observe some of the elements that make Mr. Crawford, as they say in the business, smokin’ hot. With a sparkling smile to match the diamond studs he sometimes sports, Crawford is rarely seen without a few ladies around him. There is a palpable air of mystery surrounding this junior. His mild-mannered air leaves you guessing as to the true nature of his game. Enigmas are hot.
Vernon Macklin— Tall, dark, handsome and so new to the ways of the world: Macklin may be just a baby, but he’s all man in the looks department. Sporting the endearingly square haircut favored by servicemen (he attended a military high school), little Vernon looks as wholesome as a turkey sandwich, as fresh-faced and starry-eyed as any first-year at their first kegger. Welcome to college, Vernon; we think you’ll do just fine.
Roy Hibbert— R-O-Y. Three letters that make the hearts of Hill-toppers everywhere race. Men want to be him, women want to be with him and opposing teams fear him in the paint. A girl could get lost in the dark pools of Hibbert’s eyes, as long as she is about 6’9”. The rest of us will have to settle for the obligatory posed picture standing next to Roy on a table as he gamely smiles for what is probably his 40th picture of the night. What a guy, and, may we say, 7’2” never looked so good.
Do’s and Don’ts of Groupie-dom:
There are 3,000 women on Georgetown’s campus. There are 13 men on the basketball team. You do the math. The ladies who catch the fancy of our hoops squad have to have something special, that elusive intangible quality that makes them the cream of the crop, the grandest of the groupies. So, to set yourself apart, follow these simple rules. If you do, you might reel in a basketball player, a rapper or at least a dude with a car.
Do dress spectacularly. It all starts with the clothes. Remember to shave those legs because you should be whipping out your shortest skirt. Also, check out that new Ipex technology from Victoria’s Secret.
Don’t be ugly.
Do get their number. They won’t call you. You’ve gotta work your way into the circle, and that includes a little effort from your end. Playing hard to get won’t get you anywhere.
Don’t start hooking up with the lacrosse team. Pick one set of athletes and take it to the hole. It’s all about the follow through.
Do fawn adoringly.
Don’t mention a loss. It’s your job to take their minds off of it.
Do back that thang up. Dancing is the first step to their heart, so shake what your momma gave you.
Don’t focus too much on academics. Think of the things that really matter.
Do, however, talk to them in the library. They are scholars and gentlemen, and sometimes they need something to take their minds off their studies.
Don’t stop till you get enough (think Kobe’s wife’s ring).
