“Whatever system Steve is using isn’t working. That’s not a criticism, it’s a fact.” – ESPN analyst Joe Theismann
The time has come to focus on some real sports in D.C. Forget about Steve Superior’s hapless Redskins. Poor Patrick Ramsey has the spinal structure of a 75-year-old construction worker thanks to all the hits he’s absorbed over the past three weeks. The time has come to talk Wizards and Capitals, and there are reasons to believe that both will be far more successful than the half-assed effort from the ‘Skins. Word is that owner Daniel Snyder has his eye set on Pee Wee coach Snoop Dogg for his next acquisition in his goal of global coaching domination.
The Wizards finally made the right move in cutting ties with Michael Jordan, the greatest player and one of the worst general managers in basketball history. Instead of his Airness, the Wizards come sporting a tragically un-hip white guy from Milwaukee. Luckily hipness has no effect on performance. Just three months into the job, GM Ernie Grunfield has already landed a bigger free agent and coach than MJ could in three years. Although it may take a couple months, Gilbert Arenas should be able to team with Jerry Wackhouse and coach Eddie Jordan’s Princeton offense to carve up defenses like Ginsu knives.
A similar departure from tradition has transformed the Capitals, who have shed salary and brought in three 19-year-olds to a roster filled with stodgy veterans. Although they have stumbled, and stumbled is an understatement for this team ranked last in the NHL, they have two impressive wins over two of the league’s best teams: the Tampa Bay Lightning and New York Islanders. “Olie the Goalie” Kolzig seems to have finally shaken off the worst start of his Washington tenure, and the $20 million top line of Jaromir Jagr, Peter Bondra, and Robert Lang have potential to produce more points than any set of forwards in Caps history.
So, while the Redskins have under-performed, look for D.C. winter teams to out do their expectations with less hype and more results.
