Last fall, an acquaintance of mine asked me if I had ever had sex using a condom. She wanted to know if sex felt different with a condom. I was silent for a moment (and thought to myself that she was a dirty, dirty whore) because I really just didn’t know what to say. Although my friend had been dating the same guy since high school, she had suspected him of cheating during that time. In addition, she had had random drunken sex with some dude she met during that summer. While I am all for sex with random blokes that one meets, I am not for getting an STD or worse, preggers, from that sex.
Part of the reason that I was so surprised by my acquaintance’s question is that she has strong feelings about her reproductive rights. In fact, she worked for Planned Parenthood. Apparently, she missed the day when they explained that birth control one takes in the mouth does not protect from the venereal diseases that one gets in the vagina. Sadly, this seems to be a common affliction.
My personal feeling is that unless one is in a monogamous relationship in which both partners have been tested for STDs and discussed how they would deal with a pregnancy, unprotected sex is not a option. I also do not subscribe to the notion that both partners bear equal responsibility in ensuring protected sex. Not only are women more susceptible to certain STDs than men are, they are ultimately the ones who bear the burden (literally) of an unwanted pregnancy. So ladies, that means go visit your friendly, local gynecologist and get yourself on the pill! Of course, feel free to take a shot in the arm instead, but do something. In addition, make sure that your partner (or the random guy from the bar you are shagging) uses a condom. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors. You could even carry some that coordinate with your underwear. That’s right ladies, carry condoms with you because you can’t count on a guy to have them. If this makes you feel like a slut, well I say being a slut is better than being a knocked up girl.
While I do feel that women should take more responsibility in ensuring protected sex, guys are definitely not off the hook. I am so sick of guys claiming that if a girl has unprotected sex with them and something happens, it is not their fault. Maybe it feels better, but if I were a guy I would be damn suspicious of a girl who wanted to go at it unprotected with me.
My adamant attitude toward protected sex comes not only from a belief in safety before sex, but from my belief that we need fewer babies in the world. The world is overpopulated, and this overpopulation drains the resources of the world in irreparable ways. In addition, a lot of people who have babies (especially ones that they weren’t planning on having) are stupid and the world doesn’t need more stupid people. I personally think it would be great if everyone stopped having babies altogether, but as that is not going to happen, babies should at least come into the world wanted. If I were to get pregnant right now, I would probably have an abortion. I don’t feel that this decision is selfish, in fact I think having an abortion would cause as much trauma to my life as having a baby would.
However, bringing a baby into the world that I would not want to raise would not be a better decision for me or for the potential baby. The situation is lose-lose, and my plan is to not allow that situation to occur. So take a minute to save the world … go buy a condom.