The Redskins are auditioning Jim Druckenmiller in hopes of curing their quarterback woes. HA! Jim Druckenmiller! Basing your NFL offense on the top threat of mid-’90s Virginia Tech football is like throwing Carl Pavano in to close out the Yankees in game seven. Ain’t gonna work. Look at what a joke the Niners have become?you can blame it on Jim Druckenmiller.
Well, that may be too harsh, after all, the young guns have to develop somewhere. Maybe Washington is the place for this moron. And he is a moron. This guy is perhaps the dumbest person to ever pass through Virginia public schools, besides Jim Gilmore. Andy Katzenmoyer looks like the treasurer of Mensa compared to this guy. Druckenmiller can’t have a football IQ, because he doesn’t have an IQ in the first place.
But back to more pleasant topics … how was your Columbus Day weekend? A beautiful few days of baseball provided the perfect escape from the debauched nonsense of Homecoming, your econ paper, tube tops and what have you. Remember before dusk closed over our city like a cloud of Anthrax spore last Thursday, when you were sitting at home with your V-neck sweater and cup of coffee reading the Voice? Perhaps you were eyeing page 13? Yes, you know what we’re talking about. We called Bonds’ No. 70 that day. Well, the Sermon did. That Pink Team kid was too busy ranting about the lukewarm AFC offenses of the early ‘80s to realize Barry’s determined clout. What was Bauer’s exact quote? Oh yes: “No, he won’t do it. He’ll draw too many walks.”
Other than Barry, the big news this past weekend came with the retirement of Cal and Tony Gwynn. (Julio Franco, get the hint.) But this overshadowed the retirement of a great one?Eric Davis. He defined this writer’s childhood, so much so that he still has an Eric Davis Starting Lineup figure sitting on his desk in the Kober deuce-five. This sermonic poet had every Eric Davis card from his rookie year, 1984, until his destructive injury in the legendary 1990 Series. That’s Donruss, Fleer, Upper Deck, Bowman and Topps. That’s love. What a good guy. Eric, from Cincinnati to Baltimore to San Francisco, ye shall be missed.
And now that the playoffs are here, one question: Who the hell is Woody Williams? Like Iowa power forward Reggie Evans, he’s a beast. Now if only we could liken Fernando Vina to Steve Alford …
