Cable-news junkies have welcomed the latest addition to the pantheon of talking heads. Sometime Presidential candidate and full-time conservative pundit Alan Keyes is now hosting a program on MSNBC called Alan Keyes Is Making Sense.
One portion of the program is devoted to a “conversation” between Keyes and several guests, supposedly “regular folks” plucked from the District’s streets. During the show’s first two weeks, several Georgetown students have appeared among these “regular folks.” Now while our fellow Hoyas have since distinguished themselves from the rabble with their articulate moderation, chances are this won’t last forever.
So, if you are somehow accosted by MSNBC producers and then bound, gagged and forced to appear on national television, we at Voice Leisure offer this four-point plan to avoid nationwide embarrassment:
- Compliment Keyes on snappy cardigan. Such sartorial splendor hasn’t graced our airwaves since since Mr. Rogers was still rockin’ the neighborhood.
- Feign interest in next Presidential campaign. A suggested line: “Wow, I’m really interested in your next Presidential campaign!”
- Note striking resemblance to minor celebrity. Our favorites: LeVar Burton, Ben Vereen and/or Don Cheadle.
- Bring a gift. Perhaps a copy of Talking Heads’ album Stop Making Sense would be in order, because he just can’t.
