As I marked the days off of my calendar until NFL training camp began, I took note of some significant events in the sporting world this past summer.
The Kings-Lakers Western Conference Finals was an insta-classic. Shaq once again proved that he’s the most dominant player in the NBA, even though he fouls at least three people just walking through the locker room. Kobe wound up with his third ring, and made sure everyone knew. But seriously, who drinks a Sprite after playing an entire 48-minute basketball game?
In pro golf, Tiger Woods missed out on his opportunity for the “Grand Slam” at the British Open, shooting an 81 in the third round, the worst of his professional career. At least he has the comfort of going home and hitting a “Grand Slam” with his insanely hot Swedish-model girlfriend.
Mike Tyson, while establishing that he’s become a professional punching bag, showed the world that he attracts more Americans to their televisions than the World Cup. True, the U.S. games were usually on early in the morning, but it’s been 70 years since the United States advanced to the quarterfinals of the World Cup. Attention Red Sox and Cubs fans: If you didn’t jump on the soccer bandwagon, you missed out. You had a golden opportunity to root for a loveable loser that actually had a chance to be a winner. I thought it was another Patriots Super Bow fix-type event in the making, but leave it to “ze Germans” to ruin ze fun.
In baseball news, Barry Bonds hit his 600th homerun, and in Kobe-esque arrogance, claimed to pray that “no one got hurt fighting for it.” The ball, after traveling 400-plus feet off Bonds’s bat, walloped a San Francisco cameraman in the head before ricocheting off a tower into the left-center field bleachers. That’s where thousands of fans were sitting, in hopes of catching the ball worth an estimated six figures. The lucky man: Jay Arsenault, a carpenter from Vacaville, Calif. He managed to escape from the riot-like crowd, bloodied and bitten. Another true fan right there.
Cleveland Indians owner Larry Dolan finally realized what I’ve known all along: that Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is the devil. He’s the first owner to come out publicly and blame Steinbrenner for the escalating problem with baseball’s economy. Steinbrenner’s response: “In reality, it is the Yankees’ success and commitment to providing a consistent winner that is at the center of criticism.” He and Kobe must hang out. While I didn’t pay for Tyson-Lewis, I’d certainly pay for a George Steinbrenner vs. Mark Cuban celebrity boxing fight. The proceeds could be donated to the Montreal Expos/Tampa Bay Devil Rays Make-A-Wish-Because-You’re-Gone-Next-Year Foundation.
So I hope you enjoyed your lazy days of summer as much as I did. With those painful Sunday afternoon’s of WNBA and NASCAR watching now in the past, it’s time to look ahead towards the NFL regular season and playoff baseball in October. Oh yeah, there was also that story of Georgetown’s own, Allen Iverson, out in the Philly suburbs at 4 a.m. looking for his naked wife, with or without a semi-automatic. Keep it real, A.I.
