Kobe!
It’s so nice to see you again. How was your summer? We’re so glad that you didn’t make that trip to Indianapolis that everyone was talking about at the end of last year. Everyone thought that taking that class would be an easy A, but instead GPAs got busted like Ike Hilliard’s shoulder. Baron called me when he got back home and told me all about it. You should have heard him, sobbing that he did so bad they didn’t even let him go to the Final.
You look really different! Most people put on the freshman 15 when they’re a first-year, not over the summer and not 15 pounds of muscle. Man, we saw Allen in Darnall last night and he could really use some of that weight. He’s got this new roommate; this transfer kid from New Jersey (like that’s a surprise), and well, we don’t know … Allen doesn’t really have the best history with roommates.
Aren’t you going to ask about CWebb? We know you don’t like him and you’re jealous that his girlfriend is hotter than yours, but you should see him: new shoes, new wardrobe and a phat house in Burleith. You should at least be polite to him. You don’t want to do something stupid and get suspended like Rick, although his girlfriend is hotter than yours, too.
Naw, we’re just playing around, Kobe. Hey, did you see that kid who had first pick in the housing lottery? This guy’s been in China his whole life and all of a sudden the school treats him like he’s Donald Trump’s son or something. He’s strutting around Village A like he owns the place. We just ran into Steve and even though he told us not to tell you, Tim’s been talking trash about you. He’s saying that even though you got all the glory last year, he’s the one who had the highest GPA and he’s going to show everyone who’s really the best this year. Don’t worry though?he’s probably just jealous.
So what classes are you taking? Jesus, you’re taking German, Spanish, Croatian, French and Russian? We knew you were in the FLL, but that’s ridiculous. Just because you want to talk with Stanislav Medvedenko all the time doesn’t mean you have to learn all those languages. Hey, maybe you’re in our German class. We’re meeting Dirk for lunch and we know that he’s in there. We liked him better with long hair though …
OK, we know you’re busy, but we’re really looking forward to the year. Give us a call and we’ll catch a hockey game. It’s the only sport anyone cares about here. Did you see the Wild game last night?
