There are times when I want to fall on my knees and give thanks that I’m not entrusted with teaching English to non-native speakers. The number of nuances in our language make me shudder at the prospect of this task.
I would rather explain exceptions to grammatical rules 365 days a year, however, than be faced with the challenge of defining some of our more elusive words. For sure, every language has words that are difficult to define, but it is usually only in the classroom that we are pressed to come up with a definite meaning for them. I, for one, never expected to feel their malicious ambiguity while Christmas shopping. Take the word “home.” Who’d have thought a four-letter word that doesn’t start with “l” and end with “ove” could be so loaded?
During my first year at Georgetown, Village C was not “home” to me. It was just “my dorm” or “my room.” Even when I’d reached the point during the spring semester when I would have referred to it as “home” without giving the phrase a second thought, I went out of my way to keep the distinction: Home was where I went during school breaks, not where I lived eight and a half months out of the year. This was important. I even corrected people who foolishly blurred the two in front of me.
Fast forward to this past Thanksgiving weekend. I was out with my mom and grandmother when we decided to stop in at the Barnes & Noble that I had worked at over the summer. I ran into some of my co-workers and was talking with an old boss who asked me when I planned to head back to Washington. Not even stopping to think I replied, “I’m going home on Sunday.” My mom was standing behind me and it was the first time she had heard me refer to anywhere but McHenry, Ill. as home. Needless to say, her eyes quickly misted over.
This situation got me thinking about what the word “home” actually means. I certainly didn’t feel that I was misspeaking when I told friends I was going home for Thanksgiving, but it also felt right to call Georgetown home. Two completely different places, one term—something didn’t fit. Figuring more enlightened minds than mine may have already solved the problem, I turned to the most comprehensive and reliable research tool I could think of: Google.
After a few fruitless attempts, I typed “home,” “platitude” and “quote” into the search field. Jackpot.
My trusty search engine dumped a pile of matching websites into my lap and I clicked on the one at the top of the list. While all of the definitions could be contested-and some should only be repeated in the context of sappy greeting cards and “Precious Moments” paraphernalia-here are some of the possibilities that caught my eye:
“A person travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.” —George Moore
On the surface it’s a nice sentiment, but I’m not buying the implication that returning to McHenry after graduation is essential to my future happiness. No offense, but no thanks.
“There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.”—Jane Austen
It’s hard to argue with this one. After a stressful midterm, for example, sometimes the only thing I want to do is to curl up on my couch, watch a movie, and forget about the evil question my professor asked on the second essay. While it may come from a more appropriate source for an English major, this quote does nothing to reconcile my problem of referring to two places with the same name. Next!
“For the love of God, folks, don’t do this at home.”—David Letterman
I’ll admit that at first I was only going to include this one as a joke, but maybe it says something about the meaning of home after all. Maybe it says that home is where you are safe and secure. Maybe it says that home is where you act smarter and aren’t as apt to make a fool of yourself. If so, Dave has obviously never observed the Sierminski family when we get together.
After an hour of frustrated search, I didn’t have a satisfying solution; I still don’t. I need separate words to describe every place that’s important to me, but, alas, the language gods have decided this is not to be. So Mom, I’m coming home in a few weeks for Christmas … but I’m also going back home at the beginning of January. I’ve got to be there for the start of the spring semester, after all.
Rachel Sierminski is a junior in the College. She believes there is
nothing that Google can not do.
