I love capitalism. And sweatshops-nothing I can get behind more than the exploitation of those less fortunate so long as it saves me some money the next time I visit the Gap or Abercrombie or any of the other trendy, upscale clothing establishments that make me look like an individual (just like everyone else who shops there). And God, I hope we bomb the hell out of Iraq-those children will never see it coming—but not before we give unlimited funding to the International Monetary Fund and World Bank, so long as it helps business. And I thank God and President Bush (both of whom I believe in with equal fervor) for having the vision and courage to have the police arrest hundreds of protesters during the IMF debacle before they could turn violent. Thousands of lives were most likely saved by locking up these reprobates before they could go on a blood-soaked orgy of mayhem, destruction and not showering.
Let me break it down for those not acquainted with such concepts as hyperbole and sarcasm: I don’t actually endorse any of these things. But if I had to choose an ideological standpoint, I would have to err on the side of evil simply for the reason that those of you fronting the opposition are such complete and utter assholes. Humorless and completely enamored with yourselves and whatever cause you’re championing this week (to the point that you immediately write off anyone not as committed to solving the world’s problems), you seem to think that your self-indulgent ritual of ineffectual protesting and emotional posturing is the only morally defensible lifestyle.
Indignantly shouting oversimplified slogans based on some holier-than-thou attitude rooted in the belief that your version of the truth is so disruptive to the status quo that no one wants to hear it isn’t going to get you very far. Maybe it’s time to change your delivery. A better approach would be to try working on a solution to many of these problems you so loudly decry. Yeah, capitalism sucks, and the first world exploits the third, but unless you have a solution for ending the cycle and laying the groundwork for a more socially responsible system, you could spend some time mulling that over and less time criticizing the obviously imperfect system already in place. Many people don’t understand that idealism is fine only as long as there is a practical means of setting one’s principles into action.
With large protests (some with a specific purpose and some apparently for any number of causes) garnering less and less attention, it seems the organizers have two options left if they are to remain of any relevance. The first option is to stage increasingly gaudy attention-getting shows in order to get a response from an apathetic audience. The second is to issue change from inside the system. In other words, try to get the government to aid you instead of fighting against it. And while some might dismiss this option as pointless because it would be impossible to garner enough support within the government for such radical change, it can’t be less effective than what is being done now.
But does any of this really matter? Most of the activists our age are only going to be concerned with these issues for a little while longer before growing older, forgetting their youthful idealism and buying into the machine they so ineffectually rage against. See if I’m wrong. If you were concerned about bringing about lasting change, you would be trying something different.
I wonder how seriously some people really take these causes and how many are actually just looking to find a group to identify with and something to get emotionally worked up about. Don’t pretend your search for an identity has any consequence beyond just that. Nonconformity through buying into the ideals of a smaller subculture is not individuality at all—it’s just a specialized form of conformity that gives a sense of uniqueness due to its exclusivity. While there are people who are passionately devoted to a cause solely out of a desire to change things for the better, they are more likely too busy trying to sincerely accomplish something to engage in self-congratulatory posturing and outspoken self-aggrandizement. Do these arguments sound familiar? Maybe it’s because their they’re true.
So, are you angry yet? Why? Is it because I’m completely wrong, horribly misinformed and a prick for holding such outlandish opinions? Or is it because I’m right and you just don’t want to hear it? Why don’t you come and protest me? Or, better yet, why don’t you take a critical look at yourself and whether or not you are going about accomplishing your goals in the most effective way possible, or if you’re just wasting the halcyon days of your idealism on self-congratulatory acts like protests and harassing shoppers and businessmen. Give it some thought. And remember, I love hate mail as much as I love sweatshops so feel free to write in.
Scott Matthews is a sophomore in the College and the leisure editor of the Georgetown Voice. He whupped Batman’s ass.
