The intended purpose of this godforsaken column is to promote off-campus activities. While it rarely lives up to its “revolutionary” moniker, this week’s installment should provide the opportunity for you to really get out there and make change and inspire true revolution. How do you do that? Protest!
Of course, “revolution” here means “watching a bunch of middle-class white kids pawn their guilty and impractical liberalism on to other liberal whiteys,” but it can still be fun!
This weekend, coinciding with the celebration of the Martin Luther King holiday, thousands will convene at the U.S. Capitol building to protest the looming war with Iraq. While the cause this time is more valid than usual, there will still be plenty of opportunities to see the things that make a protest great fun for even the most casual of observers-hemp, drum circles, costumes and songs! You’ll meet people from all over the country-far-flung places like Amherst, Berkeley, Boston and Rockville, Maryland. Oh yeah, they’ll also be protesting the war in Iraq while clouding their message in a fog of other liberal causes. There’s something for every Georgetown student. You can learn about ending Alaskan oil drilling, why Mumia is innocent and of course, how the IMF and World Bank murder people in Africa. Watch out for the anarchists, though. They’re the ones dressed in black rags who claim to know something about politics but instead just intend to break stuff. After all, “There is no violent element to a building being destroyed.” (Anti-Capitalist Convergence spokesperson Rae Valentine, Washington City Paper, Oct. 6, 2002.)
Attending an actual D.C. protest will also make you long for the bygone era of the ‘60s, when protests actually mattered. Long rendered irrelevant by inconsistency, poor leadership and misinformed participants, the protests of today are gatherings of one of the more interesting subcultures of modern America. You’ll also see crafts and floats galore, not to mention more unwashed hair than you can imagine. If you’re a nerdy white-sneaker wearing College Republican, then you’ll get plenty of ammunition for your next asinine flyer campaign. And if you’re just a moderate member of the left, beware—this weekend’s protests may force you to swing a bit more right.
The march will meet at the Capitol and push its way through the district all the way to the Navy Yard in Southeast. And you know what? There won’t be anyone in Southeast watching the protest either, except for more protesters. It’s also the weekend, so there won’t be anyone downtown except for some brave tourists and police officers with riot gear. Just watch out for those billy clubs and rubber bullets!
That’s not to say there isn’t valuable stuff going on, but choose your path wisely. For every one person that actually understands the dynamics and implications of structural adjustment programs, you’ll find ten more who don’t know where to find the Middle East on a map (hint: it’s somewhere in the middle).
And as for the real cause of this weekend’s protest-preventing a war on Iraq-I hope you’ll turn out and let George W. “Bush” Bush hear you loud and clear. After all, he’ll probably be on hand to personally hear and consider what the protestors have to say, so come prepared to make a difference.
The U.S. Capitol is located in downtown D.C.
