Shock Value: Fairly low. We recommend a picture of a baby with a nail through its head to boost the shock factor, making your message more pointed.
Comments: Nervous system? Why would a baby be nervous? Oh, maybe because it’s about to be aborted. And since a baby’s brain functions at 40 days, it’s obviously conscious of everything going on around it. But hey, it’s easier than aborting a four-year-old. That’s always awkward.
Logic: What if you aborted Hitler? What if you aborted the Antichrist? What if my pants fall down and everyone’s staring at my weiner? God, grow up.
Shock value: This one’s too stupid to be offensive. And too delicious to be fat free. Really? It is? We’ll be damned.
Comments: The statement presupposes that there weren’t any other syphilis-afflicted women with eight kids (one deaf, two blind, one retarded) when, IN FACT, the entire Dave Matthews Band came from such a background. Would you have aborted them? Only if you knew how they were going to turn out, we guess.
Paper quality: Low, judging by the unseemly creases on the paper after the College Republican who was postering this flyer set it down long enough to beat up a hungry child before returning to the task of ending abortion.
Logic: This one didn’t make much sense to us, it seems more like an ad for an Argentine puppet show rather than an anti-abortion poster.
Shock value: A fetus-puppet show strikes the ultra-conservatives here at Voice Leisure as somewhat tasteless. Instead, we recommend that they cover Copley Lawn with flags made from coat-hangers and bloody lab coats.
Logic: WTF? Oh, wait, it kind of makes sense if you think about it. On second thought, no, it doesn’t. This argument is tangential and illogical, in fact, the only good part of the argument is if you could somehow enslave the fetuses after you aborted them. But then again, if you did that you couldn’t eat them.
Jesse Jackson factor: Huzzah!
Aesthetic Appeal: Including a picture of teen heartthrob Jesse Jackson is a sure way grab attention. Not to mention the tasteful Trebuchet black font on a white background. Magnifique!
Shock Value: Damn, that’s an ugly baby. We’d do Cady Stanton though.
Accuracy factor: We’re pretty sure she’s talking about child care or summer camp or something, and not abortion. But seriously, who wouldn’t abort a baby that ugly? Your mom, that’s who.
