“Dear God, please, make me a bird, so I can fly far, far far away from here.”
Jenny, the sermon is with you. We need to get far, far away from Philly as soon as possible, or else we’re going to cry.
First, it was the Eagles getting to the brink of the Super Bowl, now it’s the Phillies waiting til the last week of the season to let their playoff-hungry fans down. Twenty years and counting for the City of Brotherly Hatred.
So who does the Serm root for now?
The Atlanta Braves? Why won’t we be surprised when they lose in the first round of the playoffs this year. Guaranteed
The Houston Astros? Hey Yaah!, hell naah!
The San Francisco Giants? Barry’s father did just pass away, and he does see a lot of balls, but he’s still a dick.
The Florida Marlins? Haven’t seen many Marlins jerseys around campus, maybe we’ll be the first to jump on the bandwagon.
The New York Yankees? Fine, we will root for the New York Yankees, as long as the Derek Jeter-George Steinbrenner Visa commercial is thrown in a New York City dumpster. No more shots of Jeter mambo dancing, please.
The Seattle Mariners? We do like those crazy Japanese fans. Iiiiiiiiichiro!
The Boston Red Sox? Too played out. But if it will make the Boston Area Club happy, Yankees suck!
The Minnesota Twins? We like you, but your’e dart-in the-neck-craaazy if you think they’re making any noise in the postseason.
Regardless of whose baseball bandwagon we decide to jump on, and how bitter we may be right now, let’s sit back, relax and enjoy America’s pastime.
