At 5:15 a.m. on Tuesday, I found myself wandering in a dreamlike stupor down a desolate 36th street to my friends’ house. My friends and I welcomed in the baseball season by wiping crusted eyes to watch our beloved Yankees take on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays from the Big Egg in Tokyo, Japan, with stadium vendors selling whiskey while ushers blew whistles to alert oblivious fans of approaching foul balls.
After Jason Giambi’s first inning blast gave the Yanks a 2-0 lead, the game lagged, inciting a group nap. Yet, we all awoke to hear ESPN analyst Karl Ravech finish off a comment with the words, “And the money.” Ravech himself was not content listening to anchors Peter Gammons and Harold Reynolds comment on how manager Joe Torre’s love for his team will bring him back next season. He had to throw in the money factor, like any Yankee-hater will, to explain why Torre would coach another year.
“Oh that’s bullshit,” I said.
“Why’s it so fun to hate the Yanks?” a friend asked.
“It’s on the level of hating Duke,” a third added.
It’s not the same at all, I thought. How could it be? I hate Duke but love the Yanks. I tried to find a reason to defend my hatred for the Blue Devils-something they did or lacked that pushes me to root against them. I wracked my brain for an unforgivable wrongdoing explaining why I loved watching J.J. Reddick throw up brick after brick in the ACC title game, why I raged as the Blue Devils shellacked the Hoyas this winter, and why I desperately hope UConn will stomp Duke in this weekend’s Final Four.
So what did Duke ever do to deserve this wrath? They’ve graduated 92 percent of their players during the Krzyzewski era, their players do not talk an ounce of trash, and they play solid, fundamental, basketball. Most importantly, they just know how to win: With last weekend’s triumph over Xavier, the Dukies reached their 10th Final Four under Coach K. As a Duke highlight reel invaded my brain, bringing back visions of Christian Laettner’s turnaround game winning jumper against Kentucky, I realized what it was. I hate Duke because they always freakin’ win. Plain and simple.
And then it clicked. It’s the same thing with the Yanks. Fans don’t hate the players, they hate the idea of the Yankees. They hate that they are consistently the best team in the big leagues. Don’t tell me it’s about the money; look at the New York Rangers. They have the highest payroll in the NHL but there’s no Rangers-suck.com like Yanks-suck.com or Duke-sucks.com. The Rangers have missed the playoffs eight consecutive seasons. No one hates a loser. How many people detest the Devil Rays or the NFL’s Arizona Cardinals? Exactly.
And the similarities between Duke and the Yanks are plentiful. They are both led by classy, talented, father-figure leaders, neither the Duke locker room and Yankee clubhouse welcome players who put personal goals ahead of those of the team, and they almost always come through in big games. Not to mention, both the Duke Cameron Crazies and the right-field Bleacher Creatures in Yankee Stadium can persuade opposing fans to head for the exits.
Still, I think both teams are great for their sports. In a time when recruiting infractions pop up as often as reality shows, and athlete drug use and sex scandals are expected, both Duke and the Yankees have ducked the eye of the scandal storm. If you want to hate a team, you should hate the Portland “how many crimes can we commit” Trailblazers before their recent sell-off.
But next time you slip on your “Yankees Suck” shirt or curse Luol Deng on a lay-up in the open court, think about whether you actually hate these teams or whether maybe, you’re another jealous fan. I now realize I was … so let’s go … Du … I can’t do it.
C’mon UConn, beat those damn Blue Devils.
