I can hardly believe that it’s been almost a year now since I coached Georgetown to its final, heartbreaking loss under my tenure. My decision to leave the team was one of the hardest I’ve ever had to make, but I’m glad I finally convinced President DeGioia to let me go. I felt bad for the guy as he knelt at my feet, weeping, kissing my shoes and begging me to stay, but I had to do what was best for me. We agreed that our official statement would suggest that I was fired, for contract reasons that only a lawyer like myself would understand. Once the paperwork was signed, I was finally on my way to bigger and better things.
It’s true what they say: the more things change, the more they stay the same. After passing up offers from several major programs, I decided to return to my alma mater, St. Paul’s Junior High School. I still wake up each gameday with as much excitement as I did when I coached the college ranks. Even my pre-game moustache-waxing ritual hasn’t changed a bit. Why mess with success? Yup, I’m doing just fine for myself, thank you very much.
In a lot of ways, coaching seventh graders is a more rewarding than coaching college players. There are no prima donnas on my team now and everyone looks up to me a lot more, literally and figuratively. Plus, as my young players like to say, my financial situation “rules.” Not only am I receiving checks from St. Paul’s for my new job, but Georgetown also has to pay me the money they owe in my contract (complicated lawyer stuff again).
You might wonder how my group of seventh graders is doing this season. What if I told you that we’re currently 8-5, with all five losses being in overtime or by only one point? Pretty good, right? What if I told you that the year before I took over, the team finished a measly fourth in the league? I know it’s pretty hard to believe, but we’ve started to build the foundation for a very solid program here at St. Paul’s.
St. Paul’s basketball isn’t just a game, it’s a way of life. Like I tell my team before and after each game and during every timeout, it’s no coincidence that there’s an “E” in both effort and Esherick. I think their play on the court shows what they’ve learned from that patented slogan. And our success isn’t just on the basketball court, although we’ve obviously had a lot of that too. As everyone knows, academics have always been the cornerstone of my philosophy of developing the whole man (boy). I try not to make any promises I can’t keep, but I fully expect all 12 of my players to graduate to the 8th grade next season.
While my year has been going great for the most part, there has been one outrage on the basketball court with which I’ve had to contend. It’s been a problem all season really, but after what happened at last Monday night’s game against the Kennedy Middle School “B Team,” I can’t continue to shrug it off. You know, just because Mikey Sweeney is big for his age at 5’3” and 125 lbs., it doesn’t mean he doesn’t hurt when he gets fouled, and it doesn’t mean it’s not a foul! I will pay the way to Chevy Chase, Md., for any official to sit down and watch a game with me and see just what Mikey Sweeney has to put up with. It’s unfair to make a 12-year-old deal with that. One time, Mikey didn’t even want to go down court he got fouled so bad! These junior high referees are even worse than the college ones.
Aside from the egregious officiating I have to deal with on a regular basis, things are really looking up for me in the new year. The angry letters I receive daily from Georgetown students and alumni are starting to become much less vindictive than they used to be. I have no ill-will toward Georgetown and I am happy to see that the team is rebuilding under a new coach, as unproven, dispassionate and obese as he may be. But looking backward is a waste of time, and I can’t tell you how excited I am about the future of St. Paul’s basketball. I ain’t going nowhere. I may be here for another 30 years, and you can quote me on that.
