Most of you first-years will do and see things in the next week that will make you wonder where exactly you will find yourself during the next four years and the life thereafter. But let’s not talk about the next 40 years or four years, because the next four days may be the most important ones during your tenure at this institution.
New Student Orientation is a hodgepodge of useless information sessions, unintentionally funny performances and self-indulgent conversations. After registering, you will pick up your convocation robe. They tell you that you’re supposed to keep it for four years, so you can wear it for graduation. This is only the first attempt at trying to control what you do for the next four years. So, after convocation on Sunday, get drunk, torch the robe and bond with your floormates while you all piss on the ashes.
This is a good opportunity to find out where everyone is from. Finding out where people are from will easily be your most arduous activity during NSO. You will do it all the time for the next week. Most of the time this is just a way to pass awkward moments when you are paired in an activity with someone you know you will never see again. To prepare, stand in front of the mirror tonight and review the following dialogue:
You: Hey, I’m (your name here)
Person You Don’t Know: I’m (their name here). Where are you from?
You: I’m from (New Jersey/Northern Jersey/Any other Northeast locale). What about you?
Person You Don’t Know: Really? I’m from (New Jersey/Northern Jersey/Any other Northeast locale).
Learn this well. You will be meeting hundreds of people in spurts of thirty seconds and you can’t waste time actually getting to know them. Name and location. That’s all you need. Just let your stereotypes do the rest. That’s what they’re there for.
In addition to all of the wonderful activities organized by NSO, you will undoubtedly want to partake in some extra-curricular activities such as going to your first party, chugging a beer and yelling “COOLLLEGE!” to anyone who looks at you. Freshman rules dictate that you must travel in a pack of 20 to 30 people with a male-female ratio of at least 1:10. I remember traveling in my first pack, anonymously traversing the great expanse of campus in search of more brew, as older students snickered within their appropriate-sized groups. Oh, the halcyon days of youth.
The next week is going to be a blur, and throughout it all you will still ask the question: what am I doing here?
I do have an answer. A few weeks ago, my housemates and I went to the Jersey Shore for the weekend (Sooo Georgetown, by the way). After a great steak dinner, (Thanks, Mrs. Mort) we left at about eight o’clock and decided to get ice cream at Hoffman’s, a busy local institution. We grabbed a number and settled in for the 40-minute wait. While we waited outside with number 43, we chatted up the couple holding ticket 18. Turns out Jim Minish (CAS ‘74) went to Seton Hall Prep in New Jersey and Georgetown as well. The kicker of the story is that, as it turns out, Jim graduated with my buddy Greg’s father from Seton Hall and Georgetown and that they were good friends back in the day.
We explained we were driving back to Washington and, realizing that we would not be back on the road until close to nine-thirty, Jim provided the answer to the question.
“Come on Hoyas, it’s on me.”
And that, new Hoyas, is why we are here.
