“Did you come?” These three little words hold so much weight, but then the hesitation tells all. It is followed by the fallen face, and subsequent protests that it doesn’t matter; it was still good. Sometimes the assurance is nothing more than that: a flat-out lie, meant to calm fears and drop the subject. Sometimes, however, it is the truth-just one that no man seems willing to believe. The orgasm has become the prize, the end game, and sex is no longer worthwhile unless you can give your partner one, two or thirteen.
Unfortunately, orgasms are not a rogue case. Our society is goal-obsessed. We want to win the fellowship, become a partner, get a 4.0. Not only are we handed a list of goals to which we must dedicate ourselves, we are told the appropriate steps to follow to get there. Life isn’t a journey, it’s a flow chart.
I have been told that the motions we go through are necessary, and that’s just the way it is. Companies look for hires who are willing to pay their dues, and we act to fill out our resume because it is how they know what we are made of.
I am not objecting to work -it is necessary. I am objecting to the blind faith in what the books say, the belief that there is a formula that will work for everyone if you amass all the components. We live in a time of Internet celebrity and blogger journalism; if anyone needs proof that any path can be followed to success, it can be found here. If you enjoy the pursuit, not only will the end be sweeter, but you will find continual satisfaction.
My own reality check usually comes in the form of the Mansfield Drive-In Theatre, my place of summer employment. I go home and miss my Hoyas dreadfully, but soon I am immersed in the unique world that is the drive-in. The odd employees, the creepy regulars who come alone and pay in quarters, even the hicks from the Connecticut hills who come to watch “Dukes of Hazzard.”
The people of the drive-in are not glamorous or charming, but they are real. I love the drive-in not because it is charmingly retro or because it used to show pornos every fall, but because it reminds me of the joy of simple living. I recall that I do desire accomplishments, but ones that are reached on my terms and are in the areas I actually care about.
Our society today is too focused on goals. Goals themselves are not inherently bad, but they are meaningless if you cannot remember why you were aiming for them. If you let yourself just live for a while, you might find the direction you have been seeking. You might even get a little carried away and discover yourself saying “yes” to that infamous question.
