It’s 3 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, and you’re staring wide-eyed at the screen of your laptop, intermittently clicking and pounding away at the keyboard. Mostly clicking.
After leaving several inside-joke wall posts, joining a new club with a title that’s probably longer than this article and seeing what mutual friends you have in common with that girl or guy in your theology class you’ve got your eye on, you return to your profile for a once-over and… wait, what? There are 28 other pictures of me?! (click.) Is that… Was that the night… (click.) Oh, dear God!
The novelty of being “tagged” has initiated the latest round of everyday facebook-themed conversation among the social animals at universities across the country. At the same time, familiar anti-facebook sentiment i seems to have resurfaced.
Besides the admittedly scary prospect of having a hideous picture of you turn up on the web for all your friends (and classmates) to see, the main argument against the ubiquitous book of faces is that, in the same vein as instant messenger, it further removes us from the once singular kind of communication: direct, personal and face-to-face. It’s the immediacy and closeness inherent in personal or telephone interaction that many argue we’re rapidly losing.
I can understand and sympathize with the argument. More and more we seem to be becoming faceless cyberbeings, existing when we want to exist. We’re able to construct outer projections of ourselves in any way we so desire, for all our college campus to see. We’re exchanging computer-coded, abbreviated words (or, at least, invitations and acceptances of cyber-friendship) with old high school, middle school, even elementary school friends we haven’t seen in years, as well as with newly made and often only faintly remembered acquaintances.
Some will say that we don’t need this, that in fact this is absurd. They argue that if I need Facebook to “stay connected”?if I wouldn’t call you up or seek you out in person in the first place?I shouldn’t be friends with you anyway. Stay off the facebook and free yourself from these fake electronic relationships that take away from the flesh and bones of real ones.
No. I respect those with this perspective and admire their ability to abstain from the addictiveness of the facebook and instant messenger, but it’s not for me. They are wasting an opportunity.
I will allow that there is the inevitable side effect of impersonal communication becoming the crutch of the socially awkward, thereby promoting that very quality by eliminating the need to confront the intimidating situation of sustaining an actual, real-time conversation. Furthermore, there is indeed the unfortunate effect of some relationships devolving into being entirely IM- or Facebook-dependent (and then becoming really awkward in person, if an oportuntiy for one-on-one interaction ever subsequently arises).
However, when used appropriately (that is, in a non-stalker-ish and non-excuse-for-remaining-reclusive-ish fashion), the Facebook is a great opportunity to sustain, enhance and even create good relationships. We can meet up with people that share our musical interests and have tickets to the same show; we can find out interesting things about our friends we might not have known otherwise (that provide great conversation starters); we can reminisce on good times in second grade with someone we probably wouldn’t have found again otherwise.
While someone might tell me it’s not a valid substitute for a phone call or a personal visit, I will gladly look on my wall after being prompted by an email and smile when I read the “Hey, what’s up,” or the “that was so funny last night” or the “I miss you.” Communication?letting someone know you’re alive?is all the same, and I’ll take it, even if it’s just a poke on the Facebook.
