NFL fans expect to see LaDainian Tomlinson, Dante Hall or Michael Vick dance around the mammoth linemen and linebackers who are waiting to inhale them like last night’s 50oz steak. But, for the casual fan who’s looking for some childlike fun sprinkled into this violent sport, the most entertaining moves are the ones performed after the whistle.
Take Cincinnati Bengals all-pro wide receiver Chad Johnson. The world’s number-one end zone entertainer revived the art of the touchdown celebration with his resuscitation of a pigskin.
Every Sunday in Cincy follows the same schedule. See Chad score. See Chad dance. So far his moves have included a marriage proposal, a well-rehearsed river dance and, most recently, a tribute to Tiger Woods in which he putted the pigskin with a pylon.
What ever happened to that 15-yard penalty and fine that was supposed to be slapped on every player who felt the need to strut their stuff in the pay dirt? Well, it seems Chad has helped to cast this rule into obscurity faster than Ryan Leaf’s career. Even the referees know these deliberate antics are good for the game. Heck, maybe someday they’ll catch the fever. How much more entertaining would it be to watch the results of a coach’s challenge if every time the original call was deemed the correct one, the zebra men did a 30-second version of the electric slide?
Not only does Johnson’s childish self-expression have people on the edge of their seats for the next episode of “The Chad Show,” but his confidence has seeped into his teammates and actually made his team better, believe it or not. The Bengals (8-3) are sporting their best record in 17 years and should make the playoffs for the first time since 1990.
Even tough-guy coach Marvin Lewis lets his gold-toothed receiver do his thing, understanding the impact he’s had. His seven touchdowns this season have helped develop Carson Palmer into a potential MVP candidate, while the double teams he draws are helping turn T.J. Houshmandzadeh into the household name that will have families spitting all over each other.
Johnson is simply an entertainer who’s helping his team win games, unlike his fellow ball-catching Baryshnikov, Terrell Owens. So why shouldn’t he express his excitement creatively if it can give millions a chuckle?
If Chad’s dance moves have helped resurrect the Bengals from the cellar to the top of the AFC North, there’s no telling what kind of phenomenon this might stir up. We should all be so lucky to feel like we can get jiggy with it after we perform a task effectively.
Just picture professor Diba casually turning to moonwalk out of the room after a successful lecture. Think of students who will C-walk all the way back to their table after making a creative meal at Leo’s. Who knows? I might get down and try the worm when I finish this column.
So, next time you get a good grade on that government test, or get three loads of laundry done with one cup of detergent, feel free to do your best Chad Johnson impersonation. Whether you break dance or square dance, or even if all you can do is the head-nod, go ahead. Bust a move.
Just don’t pull a Bill Grammatica and bust a ligament in the process.
