Wisemiller’s Deli monopolizes the food market in its neck of the woods. For quick, in-between classes grub, it has no competition. Maybe this gives Wisey’s a false sense of security and the illusion that it can slack off without any repercussions. Well, Mr. Wisemiller, your fantasy world is about to get rocked.
With the exception of the Walsh area, the Georgetown campus offers a cornucopia of food. Leo’s anchors the southwest side of campus. On the north side, the upgraded Leavey center is a crowd-pleaser—in under five minutes, you can gobble down a bucket of chicken at KFC, swallow a cheese danish at Uncommon Grounds or chug cold beer at Hoya’s. But near Walsh, if you want to grab something quick in between classes, your only choice is Wisey’s.
I have three main complaints. First, Wisey’s snail-like service often means waiting 25 minutes before you get your food. I acknowledge that one reason for the slow service is the fact that Wisey’s grills almost all of its food— it is not your average deli that serves cold cuts. But can you afford to wait this long for a roast beef sandwich when you’re busting your butt all the way from ICC to Walsh? That trek is so tedious that if you make it in under five minutes, you should get free soda and a chest bump from the Wisey’s bum.
Second, it’s definitely not cheap. The subs are not the problem. Rather, it’s the complementary food—the chips, bread and cups. I can’t verify this, but I think I paid $3 for a box of Triskets last year.
Third, the food itself has its ups and downs. Don’t get me wrong—I love a Chicken Madness just as much as the next guy. Since freshman year, each Chicken Madness tastes a little less delicious. But it doesn’t seem that this is due to a decrease in quality; I think I’ve just eaten way too many of them.
I have a solution. Somebody needs to open a rival deli on 36th, perhaps in that sketchy alley behind the Tombs. This rival deli will bring many benefits. First, it will solve the problem of excess demand. The main reason that it takes so long to get your food is that so many students want Wisey’s, especially around dinner time.
It would also give students more choice in the food they eat. Finally, maybe it will force Wisey’s to get its act together.
What should this deli be like? Make it pretty standard – an average New York style deli. In these delis, they don’t grill everything you order. But you can get any sandwich you want—any combination of meat, cheese, and extras. Further, ridiculously fresh prepared foods are available behind a big glass window—pastas, salads, desserts.
This deli would not steal Wiseys’ thunder. Wisey’s is an integral fixture of the Georgetown community, occupying an equal place in every Hoya’s heart alongside The Tombs and 1789. Its Chicken and Burger Madnesses are legendary.
A lot of people flat out love the food at Wisey’s. When I asked Mike Hall (NHS ‘07), perhaps Wiseys’ most frequent customer, to comment on the food, he got really excited. After I calmed him down, he exclaimed, “It tastes so good when it hits your lips.”
Finally, the owner of Wisey’s has been trying to solidify his monopoly on food. He has refused to renew the lease on the building occupied by Sugars, whose owners claim it is a “campus store.” Although Sugars is clearly not a campus store –—it is neither on campus nor does it sell products that any kind of store does—it is still an indispensable Georgetown establishment. The SAVE SUGARS campaign —whose Facebook group has over 300 members—has organized a Wisey’s boycott. Jack Carlson (SFS ‘09), one of the leaders of the movement, said “If the owner of Wisey’s, a dominant vendor in the region, has his way, Sugars will be wiped off the map.”
Monopolies are simply un-American. Americans strongly believe in free competition. So we should welcome in a rival 36th St. deli. Hopefully, it will be simple, quick and humble—everything that Wisey’s isn’t.
