It is 3 a.m. and Jane Hoya is suddenly awakened by her ringing cell phone. It is Joe Hoya, her gentleman caller. “Come over now,” Joe says.
“Not tonight, I am really tired,” Jane pleads.
“Hey. There is no tired in Booty Call.”
As romantic as this typical incident sounds, many people at Georgetown still complain about the hook-up culture here. When did dating die, we ask? When did we switch from “Let me get that door for you” at night to “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out” in the morning? I too used to wish we could revive a dating culture, but that was before I knew what that would entail. I recently found out, and it ain’t pretty.
When I first saw the uniform that I had to wear as a waitress this summer, I was not only confident that I wouldn’t get attention from guys, I was also pretty sure that I would be mistaken for one. I was wrong. A week after starting I had received several date offers. Being asked out on a date was a pleasant surprise, a rare opportunity for a Georgetown student, and one I was not about to throw away.
So, naturally, I just said yes to the first coworker who asked me out. To be honest, unless the guy was missing several teeth, or had been convicted of a felony, I was pretty much going to accept the date. In retrospect, I see that it is wiser to get to know the person a little first.
I thought Ryan was an okay guy, but then somehow we ended up at Red Lobster, where he proceeded to order oysters after asking me if I knew they were an aphrodisiac, wink wink. I almost threw up my cheddar bay biscuits right there.
I am not perfect, so I don’t expect others to be. I gave Ryan a second chance. Big mistake. After saying yes to a second date, I didn’t know how I could say no to a third. I was thinking “I said yes at first because I didn’t know you and thought I’d give you a chance. Now that I do know you, I’ve decided that you have no chance,” but since I was afraid of hurting him, I became trapped. Whenever Ryan and I weren’t together at work people asked him where his girlfriend was. Girlfriend? I hardly even liked the guy.
I don’t know what fairy tale book Ryan jumped out of, but once upon my time, people don’t get that attached after two dates, especially when one is at Red Lobster. This poor kid was falling hard though, and before long he was planning road trips for us and always telling me how much he missed me.
“Um, we both worked a double yesterday, I saw you all day.”
“I know, but I didn’t see you today and I missed you.”
“Why? Don’t.”
Maybe it’s just me, but nothing scares me more than having a guy like me more than I like him. I will watch Saw alone in the dark and laugh, but when Ryan told me he missed me I almost wet my pants and had nightmares for days.
Eventually I gathered the courage to tell Ryan he was being let go. Of course, I spared him the truth, which was that I couldn’t stand him. Instead I gave him some line like “We are moving in different directions,” or “Your department is being downsized.”
This was all so long ago though, and I started to wonder if dating was really that bad. Then as I was writing this, Ryan instant messaged me. Somehow we started talking about chocolate, and he mentioned that it is an aphrodisiac. Then he asked what I was wearing. Yes, it is that bad.
