Human beings simply cannot get enough of fantasy. We love it so much that we create fantasy worlds for ourselves. We play virtual reality video games. We attend fantasy camps. We dream during the day and night. We even get our fantasy fix by watching what we mistakenly call reality television.
For a sports fan, though, nothing beats fantasy sports. For a full season, you get to be the virtual manager of a team of real players. You control everything: drafting, trades, who plays. The only thing an avid sports fan would rather be is an ESPN anchor. If someone ever creates a Pardon the Interruption fantasy league, fantasy sports might disappear.
With the 2006 NFL season coming up next weekend, it’s time for the biggest fantasy sport to kick off. Managers around the world are strapping on their shoulder pads and buckling their chin straps for fantasy football. I have been participating in football, basketball and baseball fantasy leagues every season for years now. Before this season starts, I want to examine why sports fans do this every year.
The negatives involved in fantasy sports are staggering. Companies’ production and students’ grade point averages alike will plummet. Guys will know Larry Fitzgerald’s yards after the catch average and Peyton Manning’s eating habits like it’s their job. The only reason bosses won’t know or care is that they will be too busy with their eyes glued to their computer screens memorizing fantasy stats too. We will alienate our wives and girlfriends. Some of our girlfriends will even leave us for a guy who doesn’t own a fantasy team. I’ll tell you right now that that guy is lying. And if he isn’t, he’ll get suckered into fantasy sports soon enough and end up just like you: single.
Even what we do get out of fantasy sports seems pointless. Every day we brag and rattle out the stats that our sleeper running back had over the weekend. Everyone will ignore your rants and give you zero praise. It’s not because they don’t care, but because deep down they already know what every player did, and they are pissed off that they didn’t take a risk and draft Reggie Bush early. When you win a fantasy league, all you get are bragging rights, though maybe a trophy or shirt, too. Then everyone hates you as you lord it over them during the offseason.
So why do we continue to participate in every fantasy sports league we can get our keyboard fingers on? Well, besides the allure of fantasy, there is also the human desire for more. For sports fans that means more sports. Just watching games doesn’t do it for us anymore. We need something to add to the experience. With fantasy sports, there is always a reason to watch any game no matter who’s playing. At least one of our players or our opponent’s players will be playing, so every game gets more interesting to us.
That’s why all of us fantasy geeks are so excited to be getting some more. So continue lacing up your cleats and choreographing your own TD celebrations. Don’t worry about your boss, girlfriend or class schedule. Just make sure you study—your pre-draft rankings that is, since there’s nothing better than more sports.
