When confronted with decisions I’m like an ostrich with its head in the sand. I sense the danger of the open-ended environment around me. Time lurks nearby, hunting me down like a wild beast. But I linger, unable to reach a decision. Then the beast grabs my ass and I’m done for.
I enjoy free will as much as any level-headed existentialist, but I grow anxious at the thought of making decisions when the list of choices exceeds three. In a Psychology Today article entitled “Choking on Choice?”, Kirsten Vala discusses the dilemma of choice plaguing contemporary American students. We are confronted with too many possibilities, particulary when it comes to choosing a career path. Barry Schwartz, in his behavioral studies of American students, divides decision-makers into two categories: “satisfiers,” who hold out until they find the best option, and “maximizers,” who mull over every possible option and end up dissatisfied with the outcome of their excessive scrutiny.
The article’s moral is that, “it’s more important to maximize happiness than options.” Sounds easy enough, but happiness is a loaded word. The daunting task of ordering food at a restaurant is an execellent analogy for my limited self-awareness. After three rounds of pissing off the waiter—“Just a few more minutes, please?”—I still don’t know whether I’m in the mood for Tuna Tartare, Honey-Orange-Glazed Duck or any of the other tasty offerings on the excessively long menu.
I remain confounded by what Vala is suggesting I do. Many of my friends fall into the “maximizer” category. In between flying out to Boston for consulting interviews, they’re studying for the LSATs and contemplating Masters programs in six unrelated fields. It may sound like an absurd way to deal with career anxiety, but this hits at the crux of our dilemma. Many of us simply don’t know what we want to do with our lives. More importantly, we don’t know what will ultimately make us happy, which complicates the simple-sounding resolution of converting to satisfier.
If money were the sole factor in choosing a career, the choice would be neatly illustrated in a linear chart of annual income. One would strive for the top, and realistically settle for something close. But a large number of us are economically sound via the parental cushion, and if not, at least academically favored in the work force. We are “privileged” with numerous options. But choosing one compromises many of the intellectual interests we have cultivated during our academic lives. Left with few requirements and a wide array of “cool”-sounding free-electives I can take in my final semester, I can’t even bring myself to pre-register. I fear I will fall into the trappings of the debilitating “maximizer” fate.
I envy the pre-med students who knew they wanted to become doctors from the first time their eyes met a scalpel, and those who will have landed jobs at investment banks and consulting firms before a diploma reaches their hands. But I have come to the realization that I am not one of those students. I have severe maximizer tendencies. Yet I have opted to remain decision-less for the time being. I will not apply to twelve graduate programs, nor will I pick one out of a hat and stick with it (though I briefly considered this). I’ve decided to relish the open-minded, multi-interest being I have grown into through my haphazardly structured academic career. Hopefully, during my post-graduate wanderings, I will stumble upon a path that I will delude myself into thinking has chosen me, free my cluttered mind of the burdens of agency and run with it.
