I had a Russian teacher in high school who told the class that in Russia, the fool proof home remedy for any ailment was a big ol’ shot of vodka. It clears the congestion immediately, she told us. I laughed; her people also swim outside in Moscow winters to stay healthy—they surely are not to be trusted.
However, I now find myself dispensing her advice to anyone with a sniffle who will listen. Generally I am scoffed at. Fine, be boring, stay in on a Friday night and drink your ginger tea. But for the months from January to March, we’re all either at a high risk of getting sick, on the verge of becoming sick, or are recovering from being sick. I, for one, refuse to let the soul-crushing cold wreck my spirit.
Thus with my mother’s weekly naggings about vitamins and vegetables in mind, I offer a few drink choices to keep you healthy buzzed throughout cold season.
The Screwdriver is the most obvious option: orange juice and vodka (any brand fancier than Burnett’s is a waste) is simple enough. Unless you follow Voice publisher Lynn Kirshbaum’s potent version of vodka with just a splash of o.j., the five parts juice engulf the two parts vodka so that it goes down easy. The Vitamin C in orange juice is known to boost the immune system, and even if holistic websites are right about alcohol depleting the body’s store of Vitamin C, at least with the screwdriver you’re probably breaking even.
Garlic may make your breath, and sometimes your sweat, stink to high hell for at least a day, but this member of the onion family has antiseptic properties that can help to ward off a two week barrage of Kleenex and cough drops. My research revealed that a few hearty souls have actually infused vodka with garlic (literally soak halved garlic cloves in vodka until they reach the desired strength), to not unpleasant results. For less adventurous garlic-lovers, add crushed cloves to a Bloody Mary to give the tomato-based cocktail a delicious kick.
Recipes vary according to preference, but the Bloody Mary’s basic ingredients are vodka, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, a dash of Tabasco, salt and pepper, and garnish with celery for a flare and another veggie serving. Got a stuffy nose? Dump some Wasabi, extra Tabasco, or any other hot sauce into the mix and your sinuses ought to clear right up.
If you’re already feeling under the weather and want a comfort libation, my friend Johanna, who has self-medicated with alcoholic concoctions since she was 10 (under parental supervision, one hopes), swears by ginger ale and Pimm’s, a gin-based liqueur best served on ice. The Pimm’s thickens and injects a hint of honey into the airy pop, resulting in a pleasantly sweet and utterly delightful nightcap that should help to knock you right out.
Of course, there’s no shame in staying in and sipping tea. Chop up fresh ginger (remember to peel it first) and steep the pieces in hot water. Add some lemon and honey to taste, and top it off with whiskey: your very own medicinal hot toddy. And remember this above all else: drinking alone isn’t sad if you’re sick. It’s just what the doctor ordered
Have a problem that drinking can’t cure? Kate will prove you wrong at kmays@staff.georgetownvoice.com
My great aunt was a believer in the “One Two Three” coctail: 1 jigger lemon juice
2 jiggers maple syrup
3 jiggers whisky
She had a batch made up at all times in the winter, and claimed you should drink some at the first sign of a cold.