In Act II of Macbeth, a porter, who had been “carousing till the second cock,” tells MacDuff that drink “provokes the desire, but takes away the performance,” a phenomenon known in the States as “whiskey dick,” or overseas as “brewer’s droop.”
I am not one to refute the Bard’s wisdom; however, according to a recent study, alcohol not only provokes desire but also helps to sustain it. Australian scientists found that, of the 1,580 men tested, the 30 percent who drank regularly (up to four drinks a few times a week) performed better and kept it up longer compared to the teetotlers of the group. A 1994 article in the British scientific journal Nature posits that alcohol actually increases women’s libido—another reason, perhaps, for that regrettable decision last weekend.
This, I’m sure, is welcome news to those planning to celebrate Valentine’s Day. One of the few holidays for couples in which sex is almost a guarantee, V-day is known for its proliferation of greeting cards, heart-shaped candy, chocolate, flowers, and champagne. A bit of the bubbly is fine, albeit uninspired. Instead, I offer for this Day of Love some less heralded libations that will loosen you and your partner up, and hit those erogenous zones.
A Pineapple Upside Down Cake stimulates two aphrodisiac bases with its five parts pineapple juice and two parts vanilla vodka—apparently both the fruit and the fragrant bean are amorous triggers. The one part grenadine in the drink can be substituted with amaretto for an aphrodisiac trifecta, but amaretto should not be wasted on a fruity cocktail. Made with either a base of apricot (which is Shakespeare’s love intoxicant of choice in A Midsummer Night’s Dream) or almond pits, amaretto is a delightful after-dinner drink; pour it over vanilla ice cream and you’ve got a dessert pleasing to more than just the palate—the almond’s aroma is supposed to make women a bit randy.
Anise, an herbal plant, has been used as an aphrodisiac since the ancient Greeks found that sucking on the seeds augmented their lust. Both Sambuca and ouzo are made from anise and, if you like a hint of licorice, serve as delicious after-dinner liqueurs.
For those of you like me, whose only valentines will be from parents, pick your drink of choice (mine is a whiskey sour), make it to excess, then drink up so that Saturday will be a day to forget.
To the cynics out there who don’t believe V-day is more than a just consumer-driven holiday, I hear you. Hallmark projects an industry-wide sale of about 190 million dollars in greeting card sales alone this year, but don’t allow that contempt for mass markets prevent you from splurging on a little Valentine’s Day gift in liquid form. Let’s be honest: in this economy, we can use all of the stimulation we can get.
Prove to Kate that you can live up to the Australian scientists’ studies at kmays@staff.georgetownvoice.edu.
