Last Friday, like many Hoyas, I managed to overcome some serious pre-post-grad anxiety and make my way to the Fall Career Fair in the Leavey Center. What greeted me there was a pretty overwhelming sight: The ballroom was full of recruiters singing their firms’ praises, alumni waiting to be networked, and students wearing varying degrees of adherence to Western business attire norms. Tables upon tables of employers offered a future of excitement, fulfillment, and, in some cases, lots and lots of money.
But while I appreciate that companies probably sent us their friendliest, most welcoming representatives, in every interaction there was necessarily a power imbalance. Businesses do need to take on new employees, but ultimately they can be pretty picky about whom they hire, and as a result most lay out a laundry list of often nebulous qualities the ideal candidate should possess: leadership, resourcefulness, motivation, etc.
These high expectations can be hard on students’ self-confidence in interview-esque interactions. My friends can attest to how proud I was of myself after having visited—get this—four whole tables. (And yes, I am aware that stopping by a table at the Career Fair is not the same as a job interview.)
I hate to see my classmates so stressed; Hoyas are smart, driven, accomplished, and College Prowler seems to think we’re all pretty good-looking, too. So just for fun, I’d like to reverse the process and outline what I would like to see in an employer.
First of all, I’d like to be able to dress really coolly at work. Some people are into the whole power-suit thing, but my ideal job wouldn’t limit me to blazers and skirts. Instead, I’d have the freedom to look as rad as an ‘80s ski instructor (the heyday of the ski headband) or the drummer in a girl band.
On a similar note, you can’t go wrong with an awesome job title. I know “Supreme Commander of the Rebel Alliance Fleet” is already taken, but something along those lines would be much appreciated.
Workplace aesthetics are important, too. Having grown up on romcoms set in hip, modern office buildings, how could I accept working in some dark, dingy cubicle? I wouldn’t mind being hired by one of those trendy tech companies that operates out of a refurbished warehouse and provides its employees with organic lunches and free yoga classes for their dogs.
My dream job wouldn’t be too cushy, though. I’ll admit it, even if my Hogwarts acceptance letter hadn’t gotten lost in the mail all those years ago, I still probably wouldn’t have been sorted into Gryffindor once I got there. But I do think it’s important to challenge myself, so there should be some element of danger involved in my work. Take the life of a war photographer. You travel to the world’s most dangerous places and risk your life to show everyone at home what’s going on there, and actually make art in the process. My employer should mix up my routine and put me in harm’s way every once in a while, just to make sure I’m on my toes.
In fact, I really hope there’s an opportunity for a little rebellion in what I do for a living. Nothing too illegal, just throwing the Man for a bit of a loop—maybe channeling my inner Banksy and leaving anonymous antiestablishment messages all over town.
My ideal job would of course require some brainpower, because not many things sound worse to me than being forced to wake up early to go to a job I find boring–if I’d rather be in CPS lecture in the ICC auditorium, you’re doing something wrong. I’d like to feel a nerdy joy out of accomplishing something at work. Like, who gets to design the model cities at Legoland? Is “Lego Engineer” a real job? If it is, I want it. If it’s not, it should be.
Of course I understand why companies can (and certainly to some extent, why they should) be so selective about the people who work for them. But faced with a list of seemingly unattainable qualifications, it’s also easy to see why this time of year is such a stressful one, for seniors in particular. Too often the job hunt is a one-sided process, with students tearing their hair out over whether potential employers will like them. My requests are silly and unrealistic, but maybe some lightheartedness is what we need around Career Fair time.
