At first glance, Playing for Keeps seems to have all the substance required of a winning romcom; the story of a hot former soccer star with a Scottish accent (Gerard Butler) who is trying to do right by his son and ex-wife (Jessica Biel), while clichéd, at the very least offers a few hours of mindless entertainment.
But while Playing for Keeps has potential as a romantic comedy—a genre that comedienne Mindy Kaling accurately coined “a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world”—the flick undoubtedly fails in both substance and charm. A grand trifecta of poor acting, painful storylines, and shallow characters doom the film from the outset.
The story revolves around George, a former soccer champion, as he tries to prove to both his ex-wife and himself that he has matured since his self-centered glory days.
Moving to be closer to his son, George ends up coaching his son’s soccer team only to be barraged by a bevy of shamelessly flirty soccer moms—children in tow—with the town’s most eligible bachelor. The inane story arc only spirals further downward from there as George struggles to overcome the challenges that invariably come with having chiseled features and a husky accent. Only more ridiculous than his female following is one of the soccer dads (Dennis Quaid), who throws around money to make sure his son is favored on the team, befriending George only to later beg to be bailed out of jail after getting in a bar fight. He’s a feeble stock figure at most, adding little in this unbearably trite narrative.
While romcoms typically fall in Kaling’s accurate “subgenre of sci-fi,” Playing for Keeps combines the worst of an improbable story with a superficial cast of characters. Moreover, though traditional gender roles are more or less a given in romcoms—masculine romantic gestures and the happy ending are practically requirements in these formulaic films—Playing for Keeps takes its portrayal of women (specifically, the crazed suburban soccer mom) to an all time low.
The three leading moms (Catherine Zeta-Jones, Uma Thurman, and Judy Greer) bicker between each other while embodying the worst of female stereotypes: Zeta-Jones the vixen and grand manipulator, Thurman the depraved wife, and Greer the insecure follower. Together, the women create a ridiculous portrait of middle class motherhood countered only by the bland female lead: Stacie, played by Jessica Biel. Stacie’s lack of multidimensionality is unfortunately coupled with Biel’s lifeless performance—a lethal combination that makes the supposedly central love story between Biel and Butler fall flat.
Even when considered within the flexible parameters of its genre, Playing for Keeps is nothing but a disappointment. With its melodramatic plotline that seems straight out of a discarded script of Desperate Housewives, Playing for Keeps is a failure so momentous not even Butler’s sinfully sexy Scottish accent can compensate.
