June 16th, 2014 marked one of the saddest days of the calendar year. Suffering and despair came over our souls as we went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. Women and children were crying while the fathers tried to hold it together for the sake of their family. The NBA offseason had begun.
But while times have been tough, this year hasn’t been as slow as previous ones. News with actual relevance broke like the Indiana Pacers’ dreams of playoff glory. There was so much to talk about! For example:
- How is the Miami Heat going to recover from a certain player’s departure to Cleveland? I mean, it’s tough to lose the guy who has embodied the franchise the last few years. Farewell, the legend, James Jones.
- What happened to my Tuesday Grantland articles from Zach Lowe in the last few weeks of August? What, he took a vacation? Who does he think he is?
- Did you know that Nick Young of the Lakers is dating Iggy Azalea?
For the last 112 days, we were grasping at straws. Life had been rough, but there was hope. The first preseason game between the Pelicans and the Heat was approaching. So I patiently waited, biding my time until that glorious day came. I popped a bag of popcorn, and in the comfort of my dorm room, I turned on the TV, the light that would penetrate through this darkness. And, lo and behold, after clicking into League Pass, I was greeted by an image which read: NBA LEAGUE PASS: PRESEASON GAME NOT TELEVISED.
The horror, the horror! This is the 21st century, when people can watch Atlanta Hawks game streams online for free when they’re feeling too timid to go to an actual game. What meaning does life hold if I can’t watch Darius Miller play more minutes than Anthony Davis and Dwyane Wade combined, especially when I’m paying for the privilege? In order to fill this gaping hole in my life, I looked at the box score and used my starved basketball imagination for the details. I guess there’s no stopping this hype train.
- Jimmer is back, baby! The BYU product has scored more points than anyone else to date, hitting three 3’s, all from behind the half-court line. He’s on pace to hit 250 three’s this season, shouldering the burden as the Pelican’s most played point guard.
- Eric Gordon played 10 minutes before he tried to split a double team off a pick-and-roll and subsequently shattered his knee into a thousand sad pieces. Initial reports say he’ll be out for 4-6 weeks, but we Pelicans fans know that he won’t be back until Christmas.
- In case you were wondering what team Josh Salmons plays for now, the answer is apparently New Orleans.
- Chris Bosh was off tonight, going 3-13. He would have played better, but then he realized he was being paid 118 million dollars and just couldn’t stop giggling.
- Luol Deng looks weird in a Miami box score. I bet he looks weirder in the jersey, but NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW BECAUSE THE GAME WASN’T TELEVISED.
- Danny Granger, who left the Clippers for the Heat, reluctantly scored 12 points, silently cursing Lebron under his breath the entire time.
It was a frustrating night. Here’s to waiting for the actual NBA season to start on October 28th.
Photo: Scott Utterback/The Courier-Journal