Every Sunday, my friends and I convene at O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront to indulge in the delicacies of the sophisticated establishment. After finishing our lavish meals of grilled cheese and lukewarm french fries, we transform from college students trying to nourish ourselves into pretentious dessert critics. Dessert, in our view, is the most crucial component of a meal. After a delectable dessert, one can depart the dining hall satisfied and content. Following an unpalatable dessert, however, one leaves crestfallen and irritated, only adding to his or her dread to return the drudgery of responsibility. Below are our reviews of a selection of Leo’s desserts. Here’s the scale of dessert ratings:
1 star = I immediately regret my decision to consume a single bite of this.
2 stars = I’ve eaten worse, but I’d really rather not eat any more.
3 stars = I might finish this, but I know I’ll regret it soon afterward.
4 stars = I feel somewhat satisfied with the quality of this.
5 stars = I would get this again, perhaps immediately after I’m finished with this one.
Pear (debatably Apple) Muffin (1/5 stars)
I really do not enjoy this. Both the texture and flavor of this questionable muffin are reminiscent of lint. (Disclaimer: I have never eaten lint. However, if I were, hypothetically, to eat lint, this is what I’d presume it would taste like.) I feel deep remorse for my choice to take a single bite of this sad excuse for a muffin. What’s worse? The ambiguous fruit bits hidden within the muffin. Are they morsels of pear or of apple or of another fruit? That I can’t tell immediately upon tasting this muffin is both worrying and disappointing.
Pink Muffin with Icing (4/5 stars)
Wow. The graham cracker crust is incredible—a perfect balance between crunchy and buttery. I’m pleasantly surprised by the success of the juxtaposition of flavors and textures; it just works. Pink-colored, vanilla-flavored cake with a graham cracker crust on the bottom, a cherry in the middle, and icing on top is an odd, but satisfying combination. The icing, as expected, dissolves too quickly for me to taste to it, but the cherry cake and graham cracker crust are beautiful enough that they compensate for the deficient icing.
Lemon Slice (2/5 stars)
Oh, no—I abhor this. The lemon flavoring is disgustingly artificial. I would not be shocked if this pathetic dessert was made of cleaning supplies: Lemon-scented Clorox wipes posing as icing and an old Mr. Clean Magic Eraser in place of pastry crust. In all honesty, I think eating an actual Mr. Clean Magic Eraser would bring me greater satisfaction because at least my expectation would be consistent with reality.
Sugar Cookie (2/5 stars)
This cookie is either stale or undercooked or both. How does one ruin a sugar cookie? It is the simplest type of cookie, and yet this cookie is nothing but the epitome of heartbreaking failure. To make my experience of sampling this cookie more unenjoyable, it has a premature aftertaste, a problematic aspect of an already disappointing cookie.
Flourless Chocolate Cookie Sandwich (5/5 stars)
I didn’t think it would taste as good as it looks, but I am pleasantly surprised. The cookie portion is amazing—every bite has just the right amount of crunch and fudge. While the icing doesn’t benefit the dessert’s taste, it doesn’t detract from my enjoyment, either. The cookie is so good that I don’t mind. And the best part? There are two cookies.
While desserts at Leo’s are more often than not upsetting or regrettable, my friends and I are periodically surprised by the occasional champion, such as the Flourless Chocolate Cookie Sandwich. However, we must try many regrettable, and sometimes repulsive, desserts before we come across a palatable option. Overall, what this food institution lacks in quality, it makes up for in variety. The greater variety of desserts there are, the higher the probability that you will come across a decent dessert is. Just be sure to brace yourself for a few vile letdowns before you find a winner.