Just when we thought we had survived the worst weather that January could throw at us, the snow of February hit. To the people who are used to this climate, the snow is to be expected in the middle of winter, but for warm weather dwellers…it is nothing short of catastrophic. We asked our resident Halftimers from the four corners of the United States about their views on the ever-changing, comedically unpredictable winter climate. (Admittedly, Michigan is not the northwestern corner of the United States, but if you put the thumbtack there it will still hold up the map.)
Representing New York: Graham Piro
Representing Florida: Dinah Farrell
Representing Michigan: Jenna Smith
Representing California: Tyler Kranawetter
SECTION 1: Free Response
How cold is too cold?
New York: 20 degrees and windy.
Florida: When I can’t feel my hands. Usually because I forget to bring gloves or I’m living in a wintry climate.
Michigan: When everything in your nose freezes the second you step outside the door and breathe in.
California: I follow a very simple philosophy: “If you go outside and can see your breath, stay indoors to avoid freezing to death.”
It’s an average day in middle of January and you are at home. What is your plan for the day?
New York: I go out to attend to my daily duties. I try my best not to complain. Yes, I understand that it is cold, and I’m well aware of that fact as well. Don’t shout it to the heavens.
Florida: It’s totally normal to go to the beach for the MLK holiday in January.
Michigan: Eat breakfast under a blanket with tea because my parents think heating is for the weak. If snow has freshly fallen and put a stop to most transit during the day, my friends and I would wander around town, walking through various parks and enjoying the new snowdrifts.
California: Probably going to hang out at the beach or Disneyland, either way sunglasses and sunscreen are a necessity. Short sleeves and sandals are highly recommended.
What is “sweater weather” and what is “tank top weather?”
New York: Sweater weather is 55 degrees and below. Tank top weather is 75 degrees and above. In between is your call.
Florida: Sweater weather is anything below 60 degrees which usually only happens until noon on a good day during winter, then it’s back to tank top weather!
Michigan: “Sweater weather” is below 40 degrees. Tank top weather is above 65.
California: “Sweater weather” is a great song by California-native band The Neighbourhood. “Tank top weather” is January-December in California and June-September if you’re crazy enough to live anywhere else. But it can be any day if you’re dedicated enough.
What is your view on snow days? What do you do on them?
New York: Snow days are God’s way of reminding us that he loves us. I like to sleep and do my best to avoid having to shovel.
Florida: Snow days are great, especially when you get to go out and play in the snow—making snow angels, building snowman, and having snowball fights.
Michigan: I basically take my snow days as an extra weekend—sleep in, spend some time sending snapchats of Healy in the snow (we all know no one cares but do it anyways) and eventually getting my butt to the library. At Georgetown it seems like snow days can be more work than actually going to class, depending on the professor.
California: Never going to complain about no class, plus I now have a real reason to not leave my room for the next 24 hours.
It’s February 2nd and Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, what’s your reaction?
New York: I don’t mind the cold, so Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow is no big deal.
Florida: This makes no difference at home. It’s still expected to be warm and humid even with 6 more weeks of winter!
Michigan: I don’t even trust The Weather Channel, why would I even bother to look at whether a groundhog saw its shadow or not?
California: The end of winter is determined as the instant when the earth’s axis tilts neither toward or away from the sun and the solar terminator is perpendicular to the equator. I don’t think the presence of a shadow behind a large ground squirrel plays a significant role in this astronomical matter.
SECTION 2: Free Association
Answer with the first thing that pops into your head. The prompting phrases are sweater, snow, frozen, salt in driveway, beach and tan.
New York:
Sweater – Mr. Rogers
Snow – Winter
Frozen – Icicle
Salt in the Driveway – Table salt on a sandwich
Beach – D-Day
Tan – I wish I could get one. #irishproblems
Florida:
Sweater – 60 degrees
Snow – Man
Frozen – Let it gooooo
Salt in the Driveway – What?
Beach – Only a short car ride from home.
Tan – Sunshine
Michigan:
Sweater – Wool
Snow – More than a foot or go home
Frozen – Waiting for the bus in middle school
Salt in the Driveway – Always ends up on your car, which doesn’t look clean until June
Beach – Lake Michigan
Tan – maybe in July
California:
Sweater – should probably buy one
Snow – ew
Frozen – great film, five stars
Salt in the Driveway – salt belongs around my margarita glass
Beach – take me back *sunglasses emoji*
Tan – not anymore
SECTION 3: Fill in the blank.
The weather outside is frightful, ________________.
New York:
The weather outside is frightful,
quit whining and put an extra coat on or something.
Florida:
The weather outside is frightful,
but the fire is so delightful.
Michigan:
The weather outside is frightful,
says the kid from the south.
California:
The weather outside is frightful,
And my feelings for cold are spiteful.
If you expect me to go out in the snow,
Let me respond with a heartfelt “hell no.”
What are your reactions to the winter weather? Tweet @HalftimeGU with your thoughts.
Photo: huffingtonpost.com
